


I Got You, Kid

by endofallodds



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 28,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23913937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endofallodds/pseuds/endofallodds
Summary: Nineteen-year-old Alex had wanted to kill Negan ever since she left the Sanctuary, but after coming face to face with him and facing multiple challenges together, she changes her mind.This follows the life of Alex living in Alexandria and her friendships and hard experiences she has with Negan, Rick and Daryl, the three men who had now become her family and cared for the young girl greatly.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s), Negan (Walking Dead)/Original Female Character(s), Rick Grimes/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 17





	1. The Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is my first fanfiction work on this site, so please go easy on me!   
> This fiction about Alex and the guys is kind of set at an fake timescale, so if there is any confusion with timing/characters etc, that will be why! It's as if it's just a new story altogether, just with the characters and plot lines?  
>  Also there are snippets taken from the show that have just been altered to fit the story!  
> Enjoy!

Alex approached the bars where the man she had a burning hatred for slept behind. She could hear his breathing, the breath that she had wanted to end many a times. It wound her up, and without thinking she took another step closer, unsure of what she was going to say, but knowing that she had to say something. 

The man looked up through the shadows, a glimmer of light from the small window he had glared down a streak upon him, just to make sure Alex had the right person. She stepped forward and he grunted, just noticing her there.

“Who’s there?” he questioned, slowly standing up from the cowering seated posture he had previously taken.

She stepped into the light, breathing lightly out of her nose, preparing to give her everything. “It doesn’t matter who I am.”

The man stood closer to the bars, and the girls face came into light. _Jesus,_ he thought _, she couldn’t have been more than twenty._

The girl watched the man approach the bars, just as she did, his salt and pepper beard bristling closely to the metal. 

“Do I know you?” he questioned. Alex shook her head. “Probably not,” she replied. “But you will.”

The man came forward. “Well, for common courtesy, my name-”

“Negan,” Alex said, before the man, now named Negan had a chance to say. Negan was mid-fifties, with a salt-and-pepper beard underneath dark eyes, slim and tall man, previously known as a ruthless son of a bitch but now turned remorseful in the jail he was rotting in, underneath his previous enemy’s civilisation. 

“So, doll, I don’t know get to know you, but you know me?” Negan said in a joke, coughing after so that Alex could see the bad shape he was in. 

“No.”

Negan stood upright, staring at the young girl in front of him who sported long dark hair, massive dark eyes and was notably shorter than him. “What do you want, kid?”

“I’m going to kill you,” Alex said, not a smile appearing on her face.

“Excuse me?” Negan said, feeling somewhat of a threat, although not showing it.

“I am going to kill you.”

Negan took on a confused expression. “Okay… well I’m not too sure why… I know I’ve killed a lot of people… wouldn’t take it seriously. How old are you?”

“I’m nineteen. That doesn’t matter, may as well not get to know each other.”

Alex shifted from foot to foot, watching the man change his expression to desperate. “Kill me, then,” he pleaded. “Honestly, you’d be doing me a favour. Just do it.”

Alex slowly brought herself into a smirk. “You want to die?”

Negan almost broke down into tears. “Please… I can’t take it anymore…”

“Well,” she started. “Seeing as you asked so nicely.”

Negan almost smiled looking at the girl who would finally grant his wish of helping him be free from this awful prison cell that he had wasted his years in so far. He missed his ruling, the power he had, the fear he sprung into people simply by just walking into a room… all gone. And in its place, a disgusting, rotting cell room.

Alex smiled. “I was going to kill you… but seeing you suffer like this is so much more pleasurable.”

Negan almost fell backwards to the floor with the sting that sentence brought upon him. “I must have done something to you! I feel no remorse! Please, just kill me!!” he screamed at the girl, who proceeded to step back, still with a smile. She began to laugh.

“I hope you rot in hell, Negan.”

He looked at her, tears pricking his eyes, it was the same as when Maggie had threatened him and stolen the promise away with simple words. “Please, just do it.”

“Nah,” Alex said, balancing on her heels. “I prefer this pain much more.”

Negan’s eyes gleamed in the small source of lighting, he just wanted freedom. “But,” she said. “One day… when you’re not suspecting it. I will kill you. I will be there, every step of the way. When you’re free… if you start a family… if you don’t… I will be there, and I will end you. So, watch your back.” 

Negan almost felt threatened by this girl, he could tell she wasn’t playing games. She had the look in her eye, the one he used to have, of pure hatred, and it was indicating at him. 

Alex approached the bars closer, Negan reached to grab her wrist but with his weakness missed and fell closer to the bars with his forehead. He looked deep into this young girl’s hypnotic eyes, unable to look away as she whispered to him. “I bet you don’t even remember who I am,” Alex said, and with that pulled away.

Alex looked at the door to the cells, where she could see feet moving underneath the doorframe, shadowing the light coming from underneath. She looked back to Negan. “Just remember, you suffer, and I let you live… You don’t want to die, but one day… you will, and it will be at my hand.” 

She finished her sentence and disappeared into the darkness of the cells, as Negan watched the door swing open and shut, as if she was never there. 

He sat back, taking in what had just happened. His feelings were all over the place. He was angry, vengeful, upset, distraught, confused, in awe… The feelings of anger almost overpowered him, but he also felt some sort of sorrow for the girl, he must have done something pretty terrible, and he didn’t even know who she was.


	2. We Have to Find Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the part where Negan expresses his concern and Daryl and Rick decide to find this ballsy girl. Enjoy!

“Rise and shine, sleepy head,” Daryl announced as he walked past Negan’s cell, bashing on the metal bars with a gun. He watched Negan lift his head off of his pillow, turn to face him and then sit up bolt right.   
“I need you to find someone.”  
Daryl laughed. “Oh, piss off.”  
“No,” Negan replied. “I need you to. She came in here, she threatened me, and I need to find her again.”  
Daryl looked confused. “What, you going to kill her?” he asked.  
Negan shook his head aggressively. “Oh, no. Not at all. I need to speak to her.”  
Negan could tell Daryl was still very much against the idea. Rick wouldn’t like it much either. “Please, Daryl, just this one favour… I’ve been behaving.”  
Daryl cocked his head from side to side. “A girl who wants to kill you. Sounds like my kind of girl…”  
Negan looked at him in discomfort. “Daryl… Please.”  
Daryl sighed a sigh of defeat. “Fine… if Rick says yes. How do I find her?”  
Negan almost smiled. “Thank you.”  
He approached the bars, as Daryl told him to not thank him yet, and proceeded to describe his new young enemy to the scruffy man with the long hair. Negan was intrigued, and felt he needed to find this girl. He didn’t know if he wanted to apologise, help, kill or befriend her… but he just needed to find her. “She’s about eighteen or nineteen… small, big, BIG dark green-ish eyes, long dark hair…”  
Daryl laughed. “You’re scared of a teenager?”  
Negan cussed him out. “It’s not the fear… I just need to find her.”  
“I’ll do what I can… okay?” Daryl replied to Negan as he left the small-ceilinged cell block. Daryl found it hilarious how on edge Negan seemed, and he really enjoyed the thought of a young girl as ballsy as he was hearing.   
As he left, Negan was bowing his head to him, happy that for once someone was helping him out, and he couldn’t wait to meet this girl again.

“I think someone wants to kill Negan,” Daryl said, approaching Rick from behind and whispering it to him.  
Rick sniggered as he looked down a notepad, and up again at the people standing in Alexandria, working away in the gardens. “And that’s news?”   
He was right, everyone wanted to kill Negan.  
“No, like a young girl… someone new, I think,” Daryl replied. “She threatened him earlier in his cell and he’s desperate for me to find her.”  
“And are you going to?” Rick asked, turning away from the gardens and looking Daryl directly in his eyes. “Do you even know who it is?”  
Daryl shook his head. “Not a clue, brown hair and short… I think. Something about her eyes but I can’t mind what. I may as well, see who is brave enough to threaten Mr Negan himself.”  
Rick nodded him away and went on with his duties as the person in charge, his usual routine of making sure everyone was kept fairly busy.  
Daryl went around the rooms, checking the lunchroom, the library, the kitchen, etc. to see if he could match someone to the description he had previously been given. Yet to no avail, no young girl matched the appearance of the one he was looking for, so he asked Rick to hold a meeting… with the new arrivals.  
The arrivals rolled around fast, possibly scared of their new leaders as they were all fairly young and most of them had no adult to look after them. There were three girls standing in front of the two men, two with blonde hair and one with brown.  
“We just wanted to check how you guys were settling in,” Rick started. “You know… get some names, introduce us, check for any problems. That kind of thing.”  
They had a conversation with the arrivals individually, Daryl taking the brunette one. She had small, light blue eyes. It wasn’t her.  
The pair stood together at the end of the meeting after everyone had left. Who was this girl? Where was she? Did she live in Alexandria?  
“She has to.” Rick said. “We have guards on them fences every second of the day, a young girl couldn’t possibly get in and out without help.”  
Daryl pondered for a second. “I say, and I know this is a bit far-fetched, but we could do a proper thorough search… you know, get a few people involved? I don’t know why I’m stuck on the idea of finding her… but now I feel like we have to if she is a runaway.”  
Rick agreed on the idea, they needed to see where this girl was now that she didn’t turn up as one of the new arrivals.


	3. Do You Have A Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Slightly shorter chapter)  
> Daryl and Rick find Alex, in an unfortunate placing, but they find her nonetheless and are intrigued with her!

Rick and Daryl took one area, after gathering a fair crowd of troops to help with another. Simon, Negan’s previous right-hand man, led a crowd of two more around a different area, specifically focusing on a darker place of Alexandria. He scuffled around, holding the gun he wasn’t supposed to have, as he parted away from the group. The two others meekly searched the grass, as if an actual human being could be hiding there.  
Simon made his way to a shelter that wasn’t too high off the ground, which he knew for a fact was out of use after an altercation. He went inside, it was dark and absolutely freezing, surely not fit for human life. Simon thought he heard scuffling, but he couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t just rats under the floorboards. To test this theory, Simon quickly jumped out of the shelter and got on his hands and knees, flashing a torch under the badly built underground of the small building.  
After spotting exactly what he wanted to spot, Simon reached his hands under, and with a strong grasp, pulled a kicking and screaming girl out from underneath.   
He clasped his hand over her mouth, silencing her with a finger on her lips. It was Alex. Alex stared up at him in horror, not wanting to be found this way by this obviously terrifying man that now had her pinned underneath him. She wriggled, forcing her screams back down her throat, before Simon pulled out his gun and held it to her head.  
She stopped moving.  
Simon smiled a creepily comfortable smile, before he simply licked down the side of Alex’s face, causing her to flinch as her knee collided with the back of him. Simon squealed as he felt her knee connect with his coccyx, dropping the gun to his side.  
“Someone!” Alex screamed. “Help me! Get him off me!”  
Simon went back to clamping his hand over Alex’s mouth. “Shut the fuck up! If you keep screaming, I’ll make you scream about something for real!” His hand felt about in the grass for his gun, but he couldn’t trace it.  
There was shouting further up from the others, and then rustling as people came running to the commotion that was happening. Simon continued to try and feel up Alex as much as he could, as she fought him from underneath. He pinned both her hands up beside her head, with the girl simply wriggling underneath his larger frame. Until finally someone shown a torch on the two of them, and Simon was rugby-tackled off.  
“What the fuck are you doing?” a voice asked, as Alex was blinded by the light of torches.  
Rick stepped forward and grabbed Simon by his collar. “Put him in the cells… Leave him there until I say otherwise.”  
Two larger men grabbed Simon, as he pleaded that they had gotten the wrong idea and that it was all consensual. Alex lay on the ground as this was happening, before quickly getting to her knees and trying to stand up but failing to do so. Rick put his hand out. “Are you okay?” he asked.  
She looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes which she slowly brought back down. “I’m fine.”  
Daryl looked over the girl with his torch. Brown hair, short, very large, almost yellow eyes.  
It had to be her.  
“Come here, let me get you some warmth,” Rick grabbed the girl’s arm and slowly helped her up, as Alex struggled to stand.   
She looked at Daryl as he looked her up and down once again. “Yes?” she said. He shook his head.  
“Everyone… inside. Now,” Rick said, as they parted from the group and the three of them headed to Rick’s bedroom. “Do you have a name?”

Daryl, Rick and Alex sat in Rick’s bedroom, Alex with a sheet wrapped around her on the couch. They had introduced themselves slightly, nothing more than a name. “How did you get here?” Rick asked, comforting the obviously shaken up girl. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”  
Daryl awkwardly smiled at her. He wasn’t too good in helping people feel better, but he wanted to try. He felt sorry for the girl, sorrier than he would care to admit but he couldn’t find the right words to comfort her in a time like this. It made him want to kill Simon, and he may just do that even still.  
Alex explained she was lost, she had no family, no friends… and then she saw the trucks pull into Alexandria and she hopped onto the back of one. “I’m sorry… I just needed somewhere to be safe,” Alex said, biting into her bottom lip.  
“No, no, it’s okay,” Rick put his arm round her as he spoke. “I’m glad you found us.”  
“You’re quite the badass, I take it?” Daryl laughed with the girl, happy to make her smile. “I got to ask you something, though.”  
Alex lifted her eyebrows. “Go for it.”  
“Are you here to kill Negan?”  
Alex pouted. Had they caught her? Was that the only reason she was there? Did she even know herself? “How do you know that?”  
“I went to see him after you, I guess,” Daryl started. “He was actually pretty startled… I loved it. He said he just wanted to find you again.”  
“He killed my mother.”  
Daryl and Rick looked at each other in sorrow for this girl. She had lost so much at such a young life, the world had been cruelling to her, they could tell. “We can speak about this in the morning, if you’d like?” Rick said, noticing the fresh bruises appearing on her arms and the yawn she let out.  
“If that’s okay?” she questioned, standing up and preparing to go back outside to sleep in the shack this time, instead of underneath, for the tiniest bit extra warmth.  
“Wow… wow, slow down,” Daryl said, grabbing her shoulders.  
“You’re not going back out there tonight,” Rick moved from the couch and guided her to the bed. “You can take my bed.”  
Alex looked at him with her gigantic eyes, almost wanting to cry at his kindness. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” she said back, hugging into the man. She could tell he was a kind soul, very sincere.   
Daryl said his goodnights and left the room. The two of them were left, Rick taking off his shirt as Alex lay down on his incredibly comfortable bed, with the sheet still wrapped around her like a security blanket. He turned away as he put on a light black t-shirt to sleep in. “I’ll take the couch, don’t worry,” he said.  
“I feel bad moving you from your own bed to the couch,” Alex sat up. She almost looked scared to upset him. He noticed in her eyes she had a fear, almost like she was scared of him in general.   
“It’s okay, Alex,” he started, moving slowly closer as he put his hand on her shoulder. “You deserve it way more than I do after today, okay?”  
She flinched at the touch of his hand.  
“Are you okay?” he asked.  
“It’s just… been hard. Brought back… things, you know?” she replied.  
He nodded, a frown on his face and sorrow in his eyes. “From here on out, I’ll make sure it’s not.  
And with that, Rick let the girl fall to sleep as he kissed her forehead, grabbing a blanket and headed to sleep on the couch.


	4. The Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys get to know Alex.

Alex was startled awake and looked at the clock beside Rick’s bed. It was nine. She had slept fairly well, all things considered, on the bed Rick had so kindly lent her.   
She looked over to the couch, Rick was gone, his blanket neatly folded in his place. He must have started his errands early,Alex thought.   
She swung her legs out of the bed, pressing her bare feet onto the cold wood below. As she was doing that, Alex heard the door open, watching Rick filter in with Daryl close behind. “Morning, sunshine,” Daryl said, as he plopped himself down on the couch and crossed his legs over the coffee table in front of him.   
Rick placed his hand on Alex’s forehead, motioning if he could sit down next to her which she agreed to. “Feeling any better?” he asked.  
Alex nodded, as he passed her an apple. “Thank you for the bed,” she replied.  
He nodded in return. “As long as you’re feeling alright, it’s my pleasure.”  
Alex looked around, getting a better view of the bedroom. There were large windows to the right, the coffee table and the couch, the big four poster bed and a glass cupboard shielded by curtains at the back of the room. There was a thin door to the right, which she assumed held the bathroom as she heard Rick get up to it a couple times throughout the night.   
“Was the couch okay?” Alex said, as she bit into the apple.  
Rick laughed. “In days like these, anything is alright.”  
Daryl snickered with him. “In case you were wondering,” he started, pondering whether the name would trigger the young girl. “Simon is and will be held in the cells for a long time… just so you know, he is being dealt with.”  
Alex’s long hair fell in front of her face as she nodded as a thank you to him, holding eye contact with the man for a significant period of time. He was a rough looking man, almost like he was always unkept, but it suited him somehow.  
Alex felt like she knew these guys. She had been living right under their noses every now and then, sneaking in and out to see the best way to go about finding and killing Negan. She listened to their conversations, watched them run Alexandria and learnt what kind of people they were. She knew that she could trust the men.  
“I’m sorry for breaking into your camp… multiple times,” she said.  
Daryl looked back at her and Rick multiple times. “I’ve been wondering how you did it consistently… It was impressive, I really thought the guards actually knew how to do their jobs.”  
Alex realised they were not annoyed at her for the breaking and entering and proceeded to tell them what they didn’t finish last night. “Well, of course you know the first time was on the trucks. And I did that a few times… you really need to up your level of security when you go out on runs.”  
Rick laughed at this, knowing fine well that was true.  
“I used to live in the Sanctuary. The one that Negan ruled over. After my mother was killed at our old camp, at his hand of course, I had to leave. It was hell there. He was an awful man; he did awful things… it was like he wasn’t even human.”  
Alex trailed off and Daryl watched her eyes glisten over as if she was no longer in the room, he sat up and edged closer to the bed, perching himself next to Rick, yet her contact never shifted. Rick put his hand over one of Alex’s crossed legs, where she had now sat up against the headboard. “It’s okay.”  
Alex smiled a half attempt at a smile and continued.  
“Negan killed her for nothing… I think it was a small misunderstanding and that was it. That was about four years ago. Just before he came here, I assume. I was fifteen. After that, I stayed there for a while, it was terrifying, especially because I was alone. Negan was taken here after you guys infiltrated our camp, and I managed to escape in the crossfires. I made sure to keep an eye on all of you, so I would know exactly where to go to find him.”  
Daryl also smiled at this. Smart girl,he thought.   
“And then,” Alex breathed out into the sentence. “I was staying by myself, in a dodgy campsite, learning how to defend myself properly. It was even worse, not knowing if I would make it to another day… where I was going to get my next meal from… But I did it, and then I stumbled across you, Rick, in the woods.”  
Rick furrowed his brow. “When? Where?”  
“I was hunting, deer, I think. And you were walking with an older woman… I can’t remember what you were doing, but I recognised you and realised what I had to do. So, I followed you.”   
Rick looked at Daryl and back to Alex. “And that’s how it started?” he questioned, with Alex replying in a nod. “I followed you back and hid outside of the gates, waiting for trucks to come by and then I jumped onto one. I threatened Negan after getting my bearings… when I knew you guys wouldn’t be around, when the security was minimal. And then I started living underneath that shack, waiting for the perfect moment-“  
“To kill him?” Daryl questioned. Alex nodded at this too. “Jesus, girl, you’re tough for a young one.”  
She smiled at this. “I’ve done what I had to do.”  
“I think Negan’s scared you are actually going to kill him…” Rick started.  
Alex sat further upright, away from the man. “I am. There’s no questioning about it, that’s why I’m here, that is my plan.”  
Daryl leaned in closer, she could smell his fragrance. “I’m afraid… that that isn’t quite possible, sweetheart.”  
She looked at him in disgust, this is why she had been living the way she had for that amount of time. Waiting for the perfect moment to find Negan and destroy him for exactly everything he had put her through. This was her destiny.  
“I don’t think you understand,” Alex said, holding the look of disgust with both men this time, as tried to stop his sorrow for the girl from peeping through. “I’m doing this whether you condone it or not.”  
“We can’t let you do that… we just need to keep him alive,” Rick said. “Trust me, I know multiple people who want to see Negan dead… me included… hell, I’ve even slit his throat myself. But we just can’t let him go that easily.”  
Alex smiled at the idea of multiple people wanting Negan dead, she would be a hero. “I was underneath your noses for months, yet I fooled you this long. Do you really think you will be able to stop me?”  
Daryl knew she was upset and angry, and he would love to help Alex, but he simply couldn’t let Negan cut his punishment by staying at Alexandria shorter. “I’m sorry, kid.”  
Alex huffed at the pair. “Fine.”  
“Don’t get stroppy.”  
She prepared to stand up, forgetting she had changed into one of Rick’s t-shirts and preferred not to let the two men see her standing in her underwear, so motioned for them to leave as she walked to shower. She would figure out a way to do this… without them even knowing.   
Rick and Daryl smiled at each other as they left the building. “It’s like having a stroppy teenage daughter… and we’ve only known the girl for less than twenty-four hours,” Rick laughed to himself.  
“I like her,” Daryl replied. “She’s got- spunk.”  
The two walked down the stairs. “Hell, she’s not going to like the surprise downstairs, now is she?”


	5. No Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is surprised to see Negan outside doing his duties, and attacks him to try and fulfil the whole reason she was in Alexandria in the first place.

After having the first shower she had had in months, which was quite magnificent, Alex threw on her tight black jeans and a white t-shirt that she loosely tucked in, followed by her black combat boots and clasped her silver necklace back on, which she only removed to shower. She finally felt clean and smelled amazing although it was Rick’s stuff.  
She took the stairs quickly and wanted to feel the sunshine on her skin without the fear of being seen by someone she shouldn’t have.  
“How are you feeling after a shower?” Alex spun around to Rick, who was taking strides next to her as she aimed for the door.  
“Great, thank you so much,” she replied, grabbing a handle in her left hand and swinging it open, as the sun rays hit her instantly.  
“There’s probably something you should know-”  
Rick’s sentence was cut off by a gasp from Alex’s lips, as she clocked eyes on the thing she knew he didn’t want her to see. He squinted his eyes in fear of what was going to unravel next, he probably should have informed her sooner. He went to grab her, but it didn’t matter what he did, Alex was on the warpath.  
Negan, the man she had promised herself and planned out that she was going to kill, was bent over a couple of metres in front of her down the steps, digging into a newly planted garden area. He was clearly on watch, now being allowed out of his cell to do actual work around the camp, like a prisoner doing community service.  
Alex took the stairs in one jump, sprinting forward to her new enemy. Daryl turned from who he was talking to, expecting this scene to happen before it did. He clocked eyes with Rick who pleaded for help, as they both took off running after Alex.  
Negan looked up just in time to see the small girl take off from the ground and use every bit of strength in her small frame to jump onto him. He was somehow taken off of his feet, maybe the stance of him bending down didn’t help in his favour.   
“Jesus. Get off me!” he yelled as the shovel went flying to his side.  
Alex scrambled about, punching him on the side of the cheek. She winced in pain at that, not expecting it to be as sore as it was. “Get this fucking kid off me!” Negan yelled.   
She managed to grab the shovel as she continued fighting on top of Negan. Sitting up slightly over his hips, she pointed the shovel down at his throat. He stopped scrambling, putting his hands up to the side of his head as if holding them up in surrender.  
“Alex…” Rick started, as they joined the shenanigan, but without doing anything as the attacker now clutched a shovel that could do a lot more damage.   
“It’s you,” Negan said almost in a whisper, looking at Daryl. “Good job in finding her.”  
Daryl shrugged. “Alex, you don’t want to do this,” he said.  
Alex breathed heavily, weighing up her options. She looked at Negan who stared back at her with almost no fear in his eyes, although she had the upper hand. She watched his body movements, waiting to see if he was going to try and hit the shovel out of her hand or try some sort of manoeuvre to move her off. “If you move, you’re dead,” she said.  
He lifted his hands further up. “I come in peace,” he said, almost in a smug tone.  
“Negan don’t give her your shit,” Daryl said. “I think she’s serious.”  
“I am serious.”  
“How about we talk about this?” Negan started. “Coffee?”  
Alex slowly jammed the shovel into his throat making him cough. “Alright, alright,” he spluttered. “I’m sorry.”  
“Do you know what you did?” Alex said, a crack in her voice.  
Negan looked up at the girl as much as he could, he felt the cold rust of the shovel against his throat and couldn’t decide if he wanted death or not. Who was she? What had he done?  
Rick and Daryl continued to look back and forth at each other and the scene before them, as people began crowding. They felt sorry for this girl, more than they could muster into words, but they also wanted to stop her from doing this.  
“Alex, you don’t want to do this… it will be on your conscious forever,” Rick started.  
“He didn’t care… why should I?” she said, not taking her eyes off of the monster in front of her. “He never cared.”  
Negan tried scanning Alex’s face in as much detail as he could, trying to fit a place to her face but nothing was coming up. At least if he could remember her, he could bargain for the life he was still unsure of keeping. “Alex… right?” he started. “Whatever I did, I am honestly sorry. I’m different now, ask anyone, I promise.”  
Alex looked down at him intensively, continuing to press the shovel in place. “Why couldn’t you have changedwhen I needed you to?” she questioned. “What fucking good to me is that now, huh?” she began to raise her voice into a shout. “What fucking good is that to me now?! Huh?! What FUCKING GOOD TO ME IS THAT NOW?”   
A tear shed down from her eyes and onto Negan’s jacket.   
He looked at her and started to feel remorse. He felt something he hadn’t for a while, sheer pity. “I’m sorry.”  
Alex breathed out heavily through her tears. Could she kill him?  
“Alex, just give me the shovel… please,” Daryl pleaded with her.  
Negan and Alex had maintained eye contact through the duration of this battle, continuing to debate silently over his life. “He doesn’t deserve to live,” she whispered almost to herself.   
Managing to somehow get her to change her tune, Rick leaned forward and slowly pried the shovel out of her hands without Alex even shifting position. He got it out of her hands and gave it to someone further back, telling everyone to go back inside. They complied and the four of them were left in the garden.  
“Do you want me to take you inside?” Rick said calmly to the girl in front of him, in a state of shock and sadness.  
Alex slowly shifted herself from being on top of Negan, slowly falling off to his side and sitting on her knees on the grass. Negan stood up extremely slowly, watching the girl who had just attacked him, almost impressed with the balls she had, he thought.  
“Please, leave me alone,” Alex said emotionless as she stared at the grass in front of her.   
“We can’t just-” Negan started.  
“Don’t even fucking try to speak to me, just please… leave me alone,” she said again.  
“Alex?” Rick questioned.  
She didn’t look up and she said no more.   
The three of them knew they had to leave; she wasn’t budging. They watched her for a minute more as the girl’s tears streamed down a now emotionless face.   
Negan continued to felt pity like he had never before. He didn’t want to leave her there, but he knew it was for the best.   
The three turned on their heels, giving each other looks of the same emotion, as they left Alex cowered down on the grass as she had wished. They locked Negan back in his cell and the two leaders retreated to the hall, to go for dinner with the rest of the camp.  
“I don’t know how I feel about that,” Daryl said.  
“I don’t think it’s for us to feel about,” Rick replied.  
Alex sat there for a while, unable to comprehend what she felt or what had just happened. She had the tools and the ability to kill him, she had the perfect moment and she just… didn’t. She wanted to cry, scream, die, laugh at herself, curl into a ball and have the world swallow her whole all at once. She had the chance to kill Negan and she backed out.


	6. The Kid's Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Shorter Chapter)  
> Alex has disappeared, worrying the three men after the way things were left the day before. They decide they need to leave to find her before it's too late.

Rick woke up earlier than normal, he had only managed to sleep a few hours due to the guilt of leaving Alex alone after the traumatic day she had had, but he knew that was what she had wanted. He sprung out of bed, took the stairs almost at once and ran to the shack where they had first found the young girl. She wasn’t there.  
Daryl appeared almost out of nowhere beside him. “I checked the rooms, she’s not inside.”  
Rick scratched her head. “She has to be here… she wouldn’t have left, would she?”  
They both exchanged a worried glance with the same thought, as they sprinted towards the cells to see if Negan was alive or dead.  
He was lay in his bed, back towards them as they banged on the cell bars. He turned around with a jump, startled at his early visitors. “Jesus, not a couple for grace, are we?” he groaned, standing up to face the pair. “What ever can I do you for today, ladies?”  
Daryl groaned at the thought of having to listen to Negan speak, his very presence irritating him first thing in the morning. “The kids gone,” he said.  
Negan dropped his usual smirk for a small look of worry. “Well, that was careless of you,” he replied, trying to regain some sort of sarcasm. “What do you mean, gone?”  
“Don’t act dumb,” Daryl almost went through the bars with his gruff stance. “Fuck do you think we mean?”  
Rick pushed his chest back. “Alex isn’t anywhere in Alexandria. We think she took off. Must have been after the confrontation between the two of you.”  
Negan shrugged. “Why did you come to me? Do you really think the pair of us have discussed her escape plan?”  
“Funny enough,” Rick said. “We actually came to check if you were alive.”  
Negan once again turned his lips into a smug smile. “How kind of you. But, since you’re here andobviously can’t figure it out for yourselves, I’ll give you a hand in looking.”  
“And why should we let you out?” Daryl grunted.  
“I have been out. You let me out during the day for community service or whatever you call it,” Negan, mimicking speech marks in the air with his long fingers. “Please. I want to help.”  
Rick reluctantly opened his cell, much to Daryl’s judgement, but he knew it was for the best as Negan seemed to genuinely want to help Alex.  
“Let’s just think here, first,” Rick put his hand on Negan’s chest. “Where would she go? What do we know about her?”  
“Well, she doesn’t have anyone, so she has nowhere to go,” Daryl said. “And we know he used to live with this fuckwit and he’s here, so she can’t have gone there.”  
Negan furrowed his brow. “She did?”  
Daryl looked at him in disgust once again. “Oh, I forgot. You don’t know what you did. I’ll let the two of you have that conversation… but yes, she used to live in the Sanctuary, unfortunately.”  
Negan pondered over this idea. He hadn’t remembered her being there, but maybe that’s why he felt some weird sort of connection towards Alex? Maybe he did remember her, subconsciously. But with that information, what had he done?  
“She’s a smart girl,” Rick interrupted his chain of thought. “She has no weapons, I don’t think.” Rick turned around to Simon’s cell, where he was listening in inconspicuously but sitting on the edge of the bed. “Oi, fuckface,” Negan said for him. “The girl you dragged out and tried to attack, you piece of shit, did you see if she had any weapons under the shack?” he said, obviously having heard what happened to Alex, as Negan seemed to know everything. He seemed angry as the sentence left his lips.  
Simon thought and shook his head instantly, opening his lips to speak.  
“We need no words, piss off.”  
“So, she had no weapons,” Rick continued. “I watched her until it got dark, she stayed behind the gates. And she wouldn’t have left in darkness without a weapon… so it must have been at sunrise.”  
“How far could she have gotten in that amount of time?” Daryl asked.  
“Well, the longer we sit around on our asses, the further she will,” Negan said, ready to take charge and leave on the trucks out of Alexandria to help Alex.


	7. This Changes Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys manage to find Alex in a bad situation. Negan helps to rescue the girl but Alex still hasn't let her vengeance go.

Alex jumped bushes and cut away dangling branches with a sharp stick she had found in the grass. She escaped Alexandria as easy as she had snuck in, first thing at dawn when the guards weren’t looking, she hopped the fence from the top of the shack.   
She had been on and off crying, yet not really knowing why. It must have been everything building up at once after the confrontation and the event with Simon, she guessed.  
Walking with her head down and running into a surprisingly low number of walkers, Alex kept to her business and headed South, unaware of what she was actually heading to, she just needed out.  
And then she felt herself bump into something.  
Please don’t be Rick, she thought.  
“Well, well, well… what do we have here?” the man she had bumped into said aloud, looking the girl up and down. “Hello, princess.”  
Alex’s face dropped at the sight of the man’s tongue licking over his teeth and she turned her frown into a look of disgust. “Excuse me,” she said, trying to get passed. But he wouldn’t let her go around him.   
“Boys! Look what I found!” he shouted over his shoulder and down a hill.  
Before she knew it, Alex was lifted off of the ground and over the man’s shoulder. She began kicking and screaming, hitting him on the back as her stick dropped from her hand. It was almost useless; he was a lot bigger and taller than her and seemed to be extremely strong as her never even flinched to her assaults.  
“Get the fuck off me!” she screamed, and finally he threw her down to her knees, in front of two other men. The three of them stood eyeing her as she stayed on the ground, looking up at them.  
“Who may you be, sweetheart?” one said, leaning forward.  
Alex spat in his face.  
The man replied with a laugh and a strike to her face, sending her backwards onto the grass. Her heavy breathing kept her focused, as she regained vision and looked at the men in better lighting. “You don’t want to do that again,” he said, producing a knife at his side.   
Alex was only now beginning to feel threatened, if she were attacked not only was there no one to help her, but she was a small girl in comparison to these three guys.  
“What do you want?” she said.  
The one who had carried her laughed. “We needed a new plaything.”  
She realised they all had weapons, and to the side of them a group of walkers slowly approached, but they had noticed that already. “Shall we see if our plaything is a good plaything?” the largest one laughed aloud as he spoke.  
He moved forward to grab down to her as he said this.  
Unbeknown to them, Rick, Negan, Daryl and two other men from Alexandria were slowly approaching. Rick, Negan and Daryl were peering over the hill that Alex had been taken down, watching the scene play out as the two men, who were brothers, went around the back of the group.  
They were waiting for a perfect moment… and then the next part all happened so fast.  
Alex felt down at the ground to a large, thick branch beside her. She swung with all her might, bringing the branch crashing down on the man’s head. “Remind you of anyone?” Daryl said to Negan, as they both picked themselves up and took off running down the hill.  
“Oh, fuck off,” he laughed.  
One of the men grabbed Alex from behind, lifting her off of the ground, as she kicked out and off of the one in front, sending herself and the man holding her crashing onto the ground before. He managed to land a punch down her side before being taken out by Rick.  
The two brothers managed to take out the other two men with their guns, leaving Alex distracted as a walker ran behind her and ended up on top of her.   
Alex struggled as the walker had one of her arms pinned behind her back. She screamed for help but noticed Rick was tending to one of the brothers who had been severely stabbed in the chest. “Someone!” she screamed, fending off the walker’s mouth from her skin. “Help me! Someone please!”  
The walker suddenly went lifeless, a knife colliding with the back of its skull. Alex felt its body collapse onto her before she rolled it off, seeing who had stabbed it. Negan stood above her, blood over his face from splashback. “You okay, kid?” he said, panting.  
Alex just looked at him, as he offered his hand out to help her up. She ignored it, stood up and went behind him to where Daryl was tending to the second brother, who had been bit.  
Negan proceeded to fight off walkers, angry that Alex had ignored his plea of kindness. He was then asked to sit with the brother who had been bitten as Daryl took Alex back to the truck, that they had arrived in.

“Kid, you okay?” he asked, breaking the silence as they arrived at the truck. “You’re bleeding.”  
Alex touched her lip which was burst and looked down her arms and ribcage which also contained a fair amount of blood and bruising. “I’m sorry.”  
“What for?” Daryl asked, setting his crossbow into the truck. “You haven’t done anything.”  
“You shouldn’t have had to come and get me. No one would have been injured if I had stayed in the camp.”  
Daryl put his hand on the girl’s shoulder, to which she flinched. “You didn’t kill anybody”  
Alex once again felt emotion but couldn’t show it, she had killed someone, she could feel it. If the group didn’t come out to ‘save’ her, everyone would have been fine. Except from her, maybe.  
Negan and Rick appeared, covered in other people’s blood, moving towards the truck. Rick walked fast paced in front of Negan towards Alex, she was terrified that he was only coming to give her a lecture about what she had done, but instead she was greeted with a hug. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her on the head. “You just have not pulled a good card these days, have you, kid?” he said.   
He was just happy she was safe.  
“Are they dead?” Alex said, almost in a whisper, as Negan arrived to join the three of them.   
He nodded. “It’s not your fault, Alex.”  
She took a sharp inhale in. “If you hadn’t come out here, then they wouldn’t be.”  
“But you would be,” Negan interrupted. “We chose to come.” He leaned forward and tried to put his hand on the girl’s shoulder, trying to comfort her in any way he knew how.  
“Don’t touch me,” she flinched back at his touch. “You may have saved me and I’m thankful for that but it changes nothing between us,” Alex said sternly, as she jumped into the back of the truck and left the older man hanging once again, feeling pretty shitty that he was yet to get her to open up.

The truck arrived back at Alexandria, Alex keeping her mouth shut the entire journey, despite Rick trying to tell her time and time again that it wasn’t her fault and she was not in the wrong. He explained anyone would have ran in her situation, that they were just glad she was safe, but she disagreed. Because of her, two brothers were dead. “Do they have family?” she asked.  
Rick cocked his head and wondered if he should tell her the truth, so Daryl interrupted.  
“Unfortunately, yeah,” he said. “Another brother and sister… they stay here.”  
Alex gasped once again, this made things ten times worse. “They’re going to blame me… I would if I were them,” she glared at Negan.   
“We don’t have to tell them what happened, or why we went out,” Daryl said, which Rick agreed to.  
“You’re safe here,” Rick said. “You always will be.”  
They all jumped out of the truck, Rick telling Daryl to take Alex to his bedroom for some rest, whilst he took Negan back to the cell. “Enough action for one day,” he said.  
“Can I not just stay out tonight?” Negan asked, but to Rick’s stern no.  
He was locked away once again, lying straight down on his bed as the cell door shut. “I need to get her to talk to me one way or another, I need to know what happened.”  
“I think the fact you don’t just makes it worse,” Rick said. “She’s a strong girl, I can tell, but she’s really been dealt a bad card. I don’t know much about her life before the Sanctuary but from what it seems, I feel it wasn’t good then either. And living with you… just made it worse.”  
Negan groaned at himself, irritated with his past self. “I’ve changed, Rick, you know I have.”  
Rick nodded slowly. “I can see you’re changing, but be under no illusion, Negan, if you put one foot out of line, it won’t be Alex killing you, it will be me.”  
“The girl’s got balls, I’ll give her that. You won’t tell me what I did?”  
Rick sighed, he knew he should tell him, at least that way Negan could possibly try to make amends, which Rick wanted him to as this would prove Negan really was changing, and for the better.  
“Fine, but it’s on you to make good, no help from any of us.”  
Negan nearly shot up. “I promise.”  
“You killed the girl’s mother… in front of her,” Rick said, in disgust as he said the words aloud, leaving after they left his mouth.  
Negan lay with his head in his hands, mouth almost agape staring at the dark ceiling. How could he? Why did he?   
Negan spent the rest of the night trashing his cell in anger. 

Alex and Daryl’s night mainly consisted of the two of them having a deep chat about personal family before the walker invasion, before Daryl hugged Alex until she felt asleep, mainly in her own tears, which he could tell she was trying to hold against showing. He felt sorry for the girl, which he didn’t want to… not for the fact he didn’t want to feel sorry for her, but just because he knew she could take care of herself… yet he knew she had been through a lot, a lot more than she was letting on.


	8. He Saved My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex faces consequences after the brothers' death, resulting in her being saved by an unlikely hero.

The next morning came on fast, Alex woke up to Daryl sleeping on her couch, crossbow at the ready in case anything came to hurt the girl in the night. She sat upright and looked out the window, her eyes almost puffy with the tears she had cried the night before. Daryl was sleeping peacefully, after the conversation they had the night before she was almost shocked at that, as they really did have a proper heart to heart.  
Alex felt unbelievably bad for the brothers, the family, the people in Alexandria waiting for them to come home which they never would. And it was all her fault. She shouldn’t have run.   
“You need to stop thinking so loud, kid,” Daryl said aloud, with his eyes still shut. “Are you okay?”  
Alex laughed at the sentence. “It’s just all so much, but I will be. How are you?”  
He finally stood up, groaning and stretching as he did. “Yeah, if it wasn’t for your snoring, I almost would’ve gotten a full night’s sleep,” he said, dodging a pillow which Alex threw at him from the bed.   
A knock came at the door, which was Rick coming to wake the pair up. He had slept fine, knowing that he had told Negan the truth instead of Alex hadn’t bothered him as much as he had initially thought, as he knew Negan needed to know in order to apologise. He would be outside clearing and gardening today, so the first shot he would have at apologising to Alex, Rick knew Negan would take.  
“How are we this morning?” Rick asked, as Alex stood up and ventured to the bathroom to shower.   
“Okay, I guess,” Alex said. “Thank you for letting me use your bedroom, again.”  
Daryl and Rick sat on the bed and couch waiting for Alex to reappear, until then they spoke about Negan’s limitations and when they would let him out for longer. This morning he was on garden duty, planting things to eat and digging up old roots that were no longer good to eat. He was doing good, not threatening anyone like he used to or trying to escape, simply living well like the rest of the people in Alexandria, yet he just had to live in a cell for the latter half of the day.  
“Are you planning on attacking Negan again?” Rick asked, as Alex came out of the bathroom in different clothes. “Or are you over that part?”  
Alex held back a laugh. “I can try to try not to.”  
Daryl and Rick left, off to do some duties they had planned for the day. Alex took a breath and prepared to be seen in public, although no one knew about her getting the brothers killed, she still felt guilty acting like normal.  
She took the stairs to the landing and walked outside into the early morning sunshine. There wasn’t many people about, a couple wandering around, people working away and finally Negan shovelling things around and wheeling a barrow. Alex looked him up and down until the two made eye contact, him nodding once slowly at her before she looked away without a response.  
“You’re Alex, right?” someone interrupted Alex’s train of thought as she stared out over the camp.  
It was a girl, just younger than Alex, who leaned her arms on the railing and looked at Alex as she spoke. “The one who snuck in?”  
Alex nodded. “And you are?” she said.  
“Oh, sorry, that was rude. I’m Lydia.”  
Alex nodded again. “Nice to meet you, Lydia,” she said. “How do you know me?”  
Lydia looked forward at Negan who was disappearing behind a shed to dump whatever was in his wheelbarrow. “He was talking about you to one of the newcomers, I was listening in… boredom kind of thing.”  
“Negan was talking about me?” Alex asked.  
Lydia nodded.  
“Why?”  
Lydia shrugged. “He was talking about looking after you… something like that. I heard him say something about them rescuing you from walkers or something, are you okay?”  
Alex stood further upright, taken aback from what the girl had just told her. “He said fucking what?”  
She didn’t even wait to listen to what Lydia was about to say before she had taken off down the steps and towards the back of the shed where Negan was sat by himself, picking what seemed to be a sticker from the barrow’s handle. He had gone back on the deal; he was telling people what had happened. And if he was telling people the truth, then they would know it was Alex who got the brothers killed.   
“Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?” Alex shouted, pushing into him from behind. “What the fuck happened to not telling anyone?”  
“Wow, kid, back up,” he said, grabbing her hand and pushing it back off me. “I didn’t mean it to come out like that… it was just something that happened, but it won’t go far.”  
“You can’t be sure on that.”  
Negan looked at her with sincerity. “I’m sorry if I did something that offended you, but I know it won’t go far, no one’s going to hurt you.”  
“Don’t act like you give a shit about me,” Alex said, trying to push him once again but failing as he took a step to the side.   
“I know what I did to you,” he said, looking up with sorrow in his eyes. “I’m sorry, kid-”  
Alex cut him off by walking away from him before he could even finish his sentence, to which he was hurt once again for trying and failing to make amends.  
Night fell fast, as Alex was once again made to sleep in Rick’s bedroom, as he bunked with Daryl.  
It was a comfy bed, and Alex was not one who was going to say no to sleeping in an actual bed instead of underneath a shack like she was used to. She actually managed to fall asleep within ten minutes after her head hit the pillow, which was weird for her after the couple of months she had spent terrified on her own that a walker could come out of nowhere and kill her as she slept. It wasn’t a pleasant thought.  
At some point during the night, Alex thought she heard a creaking noise. She sat up bolt right, but nothing else happened. It wasn’t for another twenty minutes of silence that she was sure she saw the door to the bedroom open. And then someone put their hand over her mouth as someone else grabbed her legs and dragged her aggressively onto the floor.   
Alex’s head smacked off the floor as her breath was taken away with her, legs frantically flailing around as someone else tried to grab her arms and drag her out of the bedroom. Alex tried to shuffle away from the pair who were grabbing at her, but to no avail she was dragged along the floor and towards the staircase. She tried to scream but for some reason couldn’t quite manage it, as her head bounced off of each step she was dragged down.  
The cold air hit her body as she was dragged outside, a simple t-shirt and shorts to cover her bare skin. Alex was brought down the steps by the pair and thrown to the ground below, blocked by a separate building from the one she was taken from.   
Three people appeared before her, a girl and two guys from what she could make out. They were not people she recognised, but a voice from one of them made her realise exactly what was happening.   
“You are the reason our brothers are dead,” the girl said, motioning between her and one of the guys that was attacking her.   
Alex received blows to the head before she screamed out. This only provoked them more, with bashes coming from the three of them to her ribs, face, legs, arms, everything. Alex screamed more and more to get them to stop but nothing was helping. The two she made out were related to the brothers were delivering the worst punches, and the man who was with them was obviously a friend, but his hits were less violent.   
“Please! It wasn’t my fault! Please don’t do this!”  
It continued for what felt like forever, until there was a brief pause when the girl went to grab something that was leaning against the staircase. It was a long machete. Alex felt the guys grab her from either end, one pinning her legs to the ground and one pinning her arms and covering her mouth. “Margot! Now!” one of them screamed, as the one now named Margot approached her.  
Alex waited for something to come landing down on her to end her life, but nothing happened. She heard a shout and the girl went flying backwards, with a large shadow looming over them. Both guys eventually loosened their grasps, as Alex looked up to see who had come to rescue her, and of course she guessed who it was.  
Negan ripped both guys off of her, beating them in both age and size as the two guys were only about twenty. He pushed one to the side as the girl lay on the ground, hitting her head excruciatingly hard off of the wall of the building. Negan pointed at one of the guys who looked as if he was going to try another attack before putting his attention onto Alex, who was curled in a ball crying at his feet. She grabbed her arm round one of his legs and sobbed into his shoes, trying to hide her embarrassment and get to some sort of safety with the man who had rescued her. She hated that she was depending on him, but she needed him at this point in time. He kneeled down and rubbed the girls head, trying in any way to comfort her from what had just happened.   
The two men took off, one stopping to look at Margot before shouting her name. It now became apparent what had happened, she had hit her head so hard that it had killed her. Negan had killed the girl that attacked Alex, through no fault of his own. “Oh, shit,” he whispered, standing up from the girl cowering at his feet and removing his hand from stroking her head.  
A crowd was brought over in a flash, Negan was blamed and moved away from Alex, who was still crying on the ground in a ball. Daryl had taken his place, comforting Alex as much as he could as the group removed Margot and shouted abuse at Negan, which they all loved to do as they still despised the man.  
“It was Negan!” one yelled. “He killed her!”  
“No, he didn’t do anything, please, he didn’t do anything!” Alex sobbed towards the sky, screaming at Daryl as he shouted at the men to bring Negan to his cell. “Please!”  
“I know, I know, I know,” Daryl said quickly, stroking Alex’s hair as he knelt by her head. He didn’t think Negan was in the right, but he wanted to listen to Alex’s side.   
They took Negan away, without him even trying to plead for his innocence, he just cared that he had saved Alex from being killed.   
Alex was taken to the doctor, to be checked over and bandaged up. She was injured but okay, nothing a few days rest and some bandaging couldn’t fix, it could have been a whole lot worse.  
Daryl appeared again, as the doctor left the room so they could chat. “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” he said. “I thought you’d be protected… I didn’t think it would.”   
“It’s okay,” she said, her knees brought up to her chin as she stayed looking at the ground.  
“What happened?” Daryl said, sitting next to the girl and putting his arm round her shoulder.  
“Daryl… Negan saved my life,” Alex said, leaning her head against Daryl as he slowly continued rubbing her arm. “He stopped them; I wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t. I don’t know what to think.”  
“I know, kid. It’s a hard one.”  
“I hate him. But I can’t hate him for this,” Alex said, letting her legs fall as she leaned into Daryl more for support. She placed her bandaged wrapped handed on his leg for comfort. “I don’t want him to be punished for Margot, he only did it to protect me, he didn’t mean it.”  
“I know, I don’t know what to do. People want him punished, but I know Rick won’t let that happen. People want Negan dead for all he’s done, and I know you do to, but he has changed… as much as I don’t like to admit it.”  
Alex knew Negan had killed people Daryl cared about, he had killed someone she cared about the most in the world, but there was something in her that made her want to forgive him. It wasn’t like he wasn’t trying to help the girl, and he had been genuinely nice to her of recent, helping her when no one else could, but was it enough? She didn’t want to see him punished for this.  
Daryl left after he knew Alex had fallen asleep in the comfort of his safety. He walked out of the office, covering her in a blanket and kissing her head. He was so mad that something like this could have happened, and he needed to talk to Negan about it.   
He walked to the cell, finding Negan awake staring at the ceiling with his hand over his face. “How’s the kid?” he asked, without even looking at Daryl.  
“Pretty banged up,” Daryl said in a low voice. “But she’ll be fine, she’s a strong kid. She said she doesn’t want you punished.”  
Negan sat up and stared at Daryl, his legs dangling to the floor from his bed. “Screw her, I didn’t mean to kill the girl, but I don’t care that I did. She was an asshole for attacking someone like that, and even more so that she attacked a god damn kid. Fuck her.”  
Daryl nodded in agreeance, looking at the floor. “I know, but people want you punished for it.”  
Negan almost laughed. “People will always want me punished, it’s something I’ve done to myself.”  
“For the record, I agree with what you did, and I don’t want you done for it, and neither will Rick. So, although I don’t much like you, I can help you case.”  
Negan smiled at the man. “Why, thank you, sweetheart.”  
“Thanks for helping Alex,” Daryl said. “She doesn’t deserve what she’s being put through.”  
“I feel like I just want the best for her, and I don’t know why. She reminds me of someone, I think,’ Negan said, lying back down again. “One day I will get through to her, I’ll make it my life’s mission for the time being to show her I’m sorry for what I did. And I will continue to make sure she is safe here, even if people want me out.”  
Daryl nodded. “I respect that, but you’re still an asshole, don’t forget it.”  
With that, Negan laughed, and Daryl left the room, the two of them both with the same thought of keeping Alex safe no matter what the cost.


	9. A Change of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex faces up to Negan after what he did for her, will she change her mind about killing her saviour? This follows up with a bit of bonding from the pair.

Alex awoke the next morning, still lying on the doctor’s bench she had fallen asleep on the night before. Rick had entered the room just as she came to. He leaned against the doorframe, looking at her with a smile.  
“How are you feeling?” he asked, walking forward as he spoke. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help, I was on a late run.”  
Alex shrugged with a small smile appearing on her lips. “It’s okay, I’m okay. Negan actually… helped.”  
“So I heard, that was good of him. I know people want him punished for killing Margot, but that’s up to me, and I don’t blame him for doing it. It was an accident.”  
Alex nodded at this. For some reason she wanted him to be spared of punishment, although a couple days ago she was intent on killing him herself. She didn’t know why she felt this way, maybe just because he had saved her life twice now when he really didn’t have to? She thought he was changing, even if she didn’t want to admit it deep down, and this sucked by getting in the way of her plans.   
“Thanks, Rick,” Alex said. “For everything.”  
“Of course. Do you want to speak to him?” Rick replied.   
There was a slight pause between the two as Alex pondered her options. Did she want to speak to Negan? Kind of. She almost wanted to thank him, but at the same time she wondered if she would kill him right then and there. Her thoughts were running wild, and the choices were too many. Her feelings were too strong for too many things. Surely, she couldn’t kill him after he had saved her, could she?

Alex slowly walked towards the cells where Negan was being held. She looked at the door almost sunk into the floor and remembered the first time she had come to threaten him. It seemed like years ago. She thought about how she had felt then compared to now and it was a very confusing state of mind. Just go in, she thought, what are you afraid of?  
She took a step and pulled the handle, taking the stairs down to the cell floor.   
Simon was still in the cell across from Negan’s, malnourished and without seeing sunlight in the entirety of his stay. Serves him right,Alex thought, walking past him asleep in his cot. He probably wouldn’t notice nor remember she was there.  
“Hey, kid,” Negan said, startling Alex who was intending on speaking first. “How are you feeling?”  
Alex rubbed the bruising on her arm and watched him scan her body and face, taking in the cuts and bruises she was forming all over. “Fine, thanks,” she replied.  
He winced at the look of her burst lip and black eye, almost feeling as if it was his doing. It could have been too, depending who was told after he mentioned it to someone.   
“Look, kid, I’ve been trying to speak to you about what happened at the Sanctuary and-”  
Alex put her hand up to silence Negan, cutting him off so she could say her peace.  
“I’ve wanted you dead for a while now,” she started, watching him look at the floor in awkwardness. “Three, nearly four.”  
“Four?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “You were there four years ago?”  
Alex nodded. “You killed my mother like she was nothing. You said- you said that you didn’t kill women or children, not without reasoning. But you didn’t seem to have a-”  
“I never kill children, let’s put that into place. And women… not often, but with reason I have, I won’t lie. There must have been a reason.”  
Alex shook her head. “I could never figure that one out. She had done nothing wrong. You took the only person I had in the world and slit her throat open for the entire camp to see,” she said with an emotionless expression, staring dead-eyed at Negan who looked up with pity. “You took her away from me.”  
“You did awful things at that place,” Alex continued. “I was just young. I had to stay there because you wouldn’t let me do so much as go outside, it was like you had this vendetta against the two of us, but I was never quite sure what for. So, when the camp was infiltrated, I did nothing to help save you, or anyone. I left. I was finally free, and it was amazing. I lived alone, all alone. In the woods, by myself, newly sixteen. I had to learn how to fight all on my own. I found out where they took you, obviously, and waited for my perfect moment to strike.”  
“And that was when you threatened me?” Negan asked as Alex nodded, tears starting to prick into her eyes. “I can’t even begin… to tell you how sorry I am, Alex.”  
“It doesn’t matter now,” she replied. “You can’t take back anything you did.”  
There was a long pause between the two of them, before Alex continued.  
“Her name was Zara. She was beautiful.”  
Negan suddenly frowned and looked up from the floor where he had turned to almost hide his shame for what had happened. “Zara?”  
Alex nodded.   
“I must be getting mixed up with someone else…” he said.   
“What are you talking about?”  
Negan shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, I guess.”  
Alex sat crossed legged on the floor, as Negan did the same closer to the bars than before, staring at each other intently for a few moments. “I wish I could do anything to make you forgive me, I promise you, I have changed,” he said, and Alex actually believed him.  
“I wish you had changed back then,” she said. “For some reason, I-”  
“My wife died, her name was Lucille,” Negan interrupted, looking at his rough hands. “I loved her more than anything. She was the most precious thing in the world to me… still is, actually.”  
“Lucille,” Alex repeated.  
“Exactly,” Negan said back, knowing fine well she remembered the bat. He missed that damn bat. “She had cancer.”  
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Alex replied, not sure why he was telling her this.  
“I was a sick man,” Negan said again, wincing at himself. “I did things… things no person should do. After Lucille, I didn’t feel much, you know? I didn’t feel sad, didn’t feel happy, didn’t feel anything. I was just existing, in a way. And then I built something, I built the Sanctuary and that gave me power again.”  
Alex looked at him in thought with a furrowed brow, she guessed she could kind of see what he was trying to say.  
“I thought- that I had power,” he started again, switching glances between the girl and the ground. He looked smaller than he ever had, Alex realised. “I think it just took me a bit too long to realise what I was doing was wrong. I don’t know what happened to me.”  
“So, what you’re saying is that the power you had- made you a bad person and made you kill people? Really?”  
“Not exactly. I’m more saying that’s where it started… I made people fear me and therefore they feared the world,” he said. “It made them stronger. Sure, I didn’t go about it always in the best way, but I had some sort of good intentions. I just used my power in a way that terrified people and most of the time that wasn’t what I should have been doing…”  
Alex started fiddling with her hands, pulling her sleeves up and down her arm. Negan looked at them unintentionally and noticed thick, dark cuts down her forearm. He grimaced at them, a worried but angry expression sliding over his face. “What happened to your arm?” he asked.  
Alex tried to hide it away as fast as she could, but she knew it was pointless. “It’s a bit of a dark story… I-I wouldn’t worry about it,” she replied, looking at the floor and wondering why she now felt like the shamed one.  
Negan tried to lean forward as if he was grabbing her, forgetting he was trapped in a cell as per usual. “No, what happened? Did you… do that… to yourself?”  
Alex was taken aback by his seemingly caring nature towards her, it confused her greatly, but she almost liked it. “No, god no,” she answered. “Honestly.”  
Negan seemed relentless about knowing the source of the scars and gave her a look of sincerity for long enough until she gave in, he had genuine concern. What had this young girl been through?  
“My dad did it,” she finally answered, watching him shocked at the answer. “But I don’t want a pity party from you. I’m fine.”  
“Fine, you won’t get one… but, why? What happened?”  
“He was a drunk. He wasn’t really… father material, I guess?” Alex replied. “He didn’t like us acting up- me and my mother, I mean, so he used his own kind of discipline. But he’s gone now, so, it really doesn’t matter anymore.”  
“He hit you?”  
Alex nodded. “I got used to it, it really wasn’t that bad. He was a piece of shit and I’m sure he’s dead now. If not, then he deserves to be, but I don’t let it play on my mind.”  
Negan tried to feel empathy, but he couldn’t relate to her pain at all. She can say it doesn’t bother her all she likes,he thought, no one gets that abuse from a parent and forgets about it that easily. “Take it that’s why you took that beat down like a champ?” Negan laughed, almost forgetting that the girl might not take the joke well.  
Alex laughed with him, so he knew he was safe. “Good one, grandpa.”  
He laughed again, were they bonding? “I know this is cliché and awkward, but you know if you do need to talk about anything and you don’t want to bring it up again to someone else- you can actually talk to me. I’m not a monster all of the time.”  
Alex nodded, pursing her lips. Maybe she wouldn’t kill him. “I never thanked you- for saving me, I mean.”  
He waved her off. “Pieces of shit should know better; they shouldn’t have attacked a kid much less ganged up against one. I’m just glad you’re okay.”  
“… Could be dead if it wasn’t for you,” Alex said. “Maybe that bought you out of me trying to kill you.”  
Negan groaned with a laugh and then agreed. “Are we good?”  
Alex nodded reluctantly but knew that was what she really wanted. “I believe you’ve changed. You don’t scare me anymore. It’s going against my better judgement by killing you, and although I will never forgive you for what you’ve done to me- I guess here is a good place to start.”  
Negan smiled at the young girl, one of the only ones who has spoken to him in the way she did without being scared of him. They reached through the bars and managed to shake hands. And with that, Negan and Alex at least begun the process of moving forward. But he wasn’t about to tell her why he remembered her mother as well as he did, she wasn’t ready for that conversation, just yet.


	10. The Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even more backlash is faced after the rescuing of Alex, resulting with a visitor that Alex doesn't want to have to face.

Two Months Later

Two months had passed, Alex and Negan were a lot closer by this stage, although she was always going to be wary of him. They had bonded more than anyone else she knew, as the two of them seemed to have their fair share of trauma. Alex liked opening up to him for some reason, as if he felt exactly what she was going through without ever living it. He liked that she was opening up, he enjoyed helping her feel comfortable, almost like a daughter he had never had.  
Things had been going smoothly for the first month after they had connected, but the second month something massive had disrupted the dynamic of the camp.  
A rebel camp, people who enjoyed terrorising the life out of other survivors, simply for the thrill of it, had gotten wind of Alexandria and came to torment the people living there. Rick opened the gates a smidge to see the group of them standing there. There were three men there, one a lot taller than the others, nonchalantly swinging bats and guns around.  
“Hello there, mister,” the tall one said from the middle, tapping the bat off the ground. “I believe someone in there… killed some of my men a couple months back!”  
Rick stopped in his tracks and remembered the three men killed whilst saving Alex from the group and walkers. “Our men were killed in the process- let’s not start anything.”  
The man laughed. “I don’t believe you get what I am saying. You must be at fault for what happened and take the punishment required!” he shouted, almost in a sing-song voice.  
“Please, we have women and children here,” Rick replied. “We both lost men that day, we can just leave it at that.”  
“No, I don’t think that will work for us, I’m afraid. Now, you either let us in so we can tell you our arrangements, or we break the fence down and the walkers can have their fair share as well!”  
Rick pondered this, seeing the trucks they had and knowing fine well he could probably take down a section of gates, furthering the damage of life due to the walker infestation that would cause. “Fine. You can come in, but we have gunmen at the ready.”  
“Ooh! Scary!” the man joked.  
After meeting with the group containing Daryl, a now free Negan, and some other main helpers at Alexandria, the group opened the gates and allowed the men to walk in, followed by some of their armed recruits.  
“Quite the place you got here,” he said. Rick finally got a good look at him. He was tall, slim, with a brown kept beard up to his brown hair. He looked almost Spanish but definitely wasn’t. “So, I take it you’re in charge?” he motioned to Rick.  
Rick nodded. “What can we do for you? I’ve already apologised… we both lost good men that day and we can’t do anything to make that better.”  
“No- correct. You can’t change that.”  
Alex stepped down from the stairs leading to the main building. She was showered, freshly dressed and had her hair loosely straight down past her shoulders. She was wearing black tight jeans as usual, with her black combat boots and a short grey flannel top. She had just noticed the commotion from where she was sat inside with Lydia, who followed her out to the opening of the yard.  
“What’s going on?” she whispered to Daryl, who was stood with Negan and the rest of the group.  
“Some guys have come threatening about the brothers we killed, they don’t seem like good news,” he whispered back, not taking his eyes off the man in front.  
Alex could barely see as Rick was blocking the man, so she shifted to the side to get a better look at the competition.  
Negan watched Alex take a step forward to get her better look and then abruptly stop, her facial expression dropping and a gasp leaving her lips. “Kid?” he questioned, looking at her in confusion.  
Alex stood still looking at the man in front of Rick, as he turned to face her and stopped speaking automatically. A smile crept onto his face, a creepy smile like a predator catching its prey before killing it. “You have GOT to be joking me!” he yelled, taking a step forward before Rick caught wind of the pair looking at each other.  
Alex frowned with her mouth falling agape. “Dad?” she said.  
Negan was almost as shocked as Alex was. He thought this man was dead. He wished he was at this point.  
“Who would’ve thought I would ever see you again,” the man said, lurching forward and bringing Alex into an uncomfortable hug which she did not reciprocate. Instead, she stood with her arms awkwardly at his side and shot Negan a helpless glance, whose expression had turned sour and his lips twitched in anger. He hated this man, without even knowing him.  
“I know you didn’t mean to leave me for dead,” the man whispered in her ear, just loud enough for Rick, Daryl and Negan to hear.  
The three men exchanged glances, confused at the scene unfolding but knowing for a fact that Alex was not only awkward, but absolutely terrified of the man in front of her.   
“Well, I can’t really kill you all now!” he said, Negan almost realising a touch of himself in this man, this was how he used to act. “My darling daughter is here! Before I go any further, let me introduce myself. My name is Edgar, Alex’s father!”  
Alex stumbled backwards to the safety of Daryl and Negan as Rick continued speaking. “Why so scared, Alex?” Edgar said, trying to reach forward again to his daughter but Daryl stood in front of her.   
“I think you should leave,” Daryl said, unsure of why he was threatening the man when he had no weapons to defend himself.  
Edgar smiled at Daryl. “Are you the protector now?”  
Alex forced her tears down in a swallow, Negan glanced at her in pity, she was absolutely terrified of Edgar. He had never seen her so scared. “But, fine,” Edgar said, turning on his heels. “Since you asked so nicely.”  
Edgar went to leave, but before he did, he turned back and stared Alex dead straight with his shark-like eyes. “Before I do,” he started, pointing at her with the bat. “Just know, my dear, I will be back for you. That kills two birds with one stone, huh? I get revenge on you by taking one of your own… and I get my dearest daughter back.”  
The men left, as Alex ran from the group to her bedroom, tears beginning to stream from her eyes. She was so fucking sick of crying. Negan started after her, Daryl holding his arm and questioning what the hell was going on. Negan said he would tell him after he checked on the girl. “It’s not good,” Negan said.  
He knocked on Alex’s door as she had had it locked. “Kid, you want to talk?” he questioned, but the only answer he got was quiet sniffles from her trying to conceal her tears.  
“Please, just leave me alone,” Alex finally replied after a long pause.  
Negan stayed with his head leaning against the door, sighing in defeat. He felt real sorrow for her, she was genuinely frightened of this man, and he knew for damn sure he wasn’t going to let Edgar take her. Over my fuckin’ dead body, he thought. “I don’t want to leave you, but I will,” he said into the door after some time of just waiting. “But you know where I am. And, please, please- come to me when you can.”  
Negan patted the door and left, knowing she was always better after she cried it out by herself. He knew she hated people seeing her cry.  
Daryl climbed the stairs two at time, running towards the door in a jog to try and get to Alex. “Where is she? Is she okay? What is happening?” he quickly asked all at once.  
Negan put his hand up, stopping Daryl from knocking. “I’ll tell you everything, but we need to just let her cool off alone. I don’t like it and you don’t like it, but it’s the best thing for her right now, okay?”  
“Screw you-” Daryl said, trying to push past him.  
He held him back once again. “Daryl, she’s going through some shit- leave her be just for an hour or so.”  
Daryl finally listened, and the pair left so Negan could inform Daryl and Rick the dangers of Edgar and why Alex was so shocked to see him.


	11. Tell Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Shorter Chapter)  
> Daryl convinces Negan that he has to tell Alex the truth about her family, after he tells Rick and Daryl everything he knows.

Alex sat on the edge of her bed, a fear over her that she thought she had lost. It took one simple glance at her father to realise she would never be free of him. The secret she held about his whereabouts would always come back to haunt her. Alex and her mother had left Edgar for dead after the apocalypse broke out, or so they thought. It had been a long few years that they had at the hands of his rage, and finally Zara had had enough and forced Alex to say goodbye to her father, as she left him drugged and tied to the bed in their house, waiting for walkers to come and take what they wanted.  
Alex had never really remembered the incident of leaving him there, she just remembered what Zara had told her and that they would be safe, before being found by Negan’s men and being taken to the Sanctuary.  
Daryl knocked on her door, as by this time she was calmer and let him in. He joined her on the bed and the pair sat in silence for a while. “You okay?” he finally broke the silence.  
Alex nodded. “Just a shock, I guess. I didn’t really expect him to be alive, let alone at our camp. I don’t think he’ll come back, even if he said so, or at least I hope not.”  
Daryl and Alex spoke about what they would do if he did attack again and try to take the girl, before retreating back downstairs to have lunch in the hall with the rest of the group. Alex sat with Lydia, who looked like she was eager to question what had happened but managed to keep her mouth shut for the duration of their time together.  
Negan and Rick were just as shocked as Alex at what had happened, Negan now back in his cell just for the lunch period, as the majority of the people living at Alexandria preferred him there. They had talked over and over again about what to do if Edgar attacked, but they felt pretty certain that they would be able to win, or at least put up a fair fight. So, they were not too worried about the man as of yet. They also knew that asking Alex about Edgar and her relationship was a bad idea, as Negan had already given them the run down about their past and informed them that she didn’t want to talk about it.  
He also proceeded to tell them about Alex’s mother, Zara, and their relationship. This shocked the pair even more, but no one was ready to tell Alex the ins and outs of that just yet.  
“The kid will need to know at some point,” Daryl whispered to Rick in between mouthfuls of food. “She’ll hate us more if she finds out another way.”  
“I know,” Rick said back. “I have bigger things on my mind right now, though. I just need to sort rations and things out for the upcoming weeks, so I’m leaving it to you two to figure out what to do.” Rick stood up and left the room, with Daryl feeling as in two minds as he ever had.  
Negan lay with his arms crossed over his stomach, staring at the ceiling as there was nothing else to do. “Hey, doll face,” he said, hearing Daryl approach and assuming it was him. “What can I do for you now?”  
“I think we should tell her.”  
Negan sat upright, staring at the man beneath his eyebrows. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Her life will flip.”  
Daryl sighed. “I know. But wouldn’t you rather know? I think… I think that you should tell her, it’s on you this time.”  
“Of course, you would make me do that- make me look like the asshole.”  
“You are the asshole,” Daryl said. “Just because all of this is happening- doesn’t mean we’re friends or anything.  
Negan laughed a smug laugh. “You got that right, face ache.”  
Daryl went to leave, shouting a ‘tell her’ over his shoulder before leaving Negan in darkness once again. He pondered what to do and knew the right this was to tell the girl the truth, on the off chance she would find out somewhere else. Well, the proof was there, her dad was alive, and Negan knew exactly how.


	12. I Got You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan tells Alex the truth. This proves to be hard for Alex to cope with, but after the bonding they have, Alex can tell she can count on Negan to look after her.

Alex was sat in one of the gardens, watching a bee in a newly sprouted flower. It was beautiful, she was thinking, until her nice view was ruined by a shadow overcoming here. “I was watching that,” she groaned, turning around to see Negan blocking the sunlight. “Come to do your community service?”  
“Ha-ha,” Negan said sarcastically. “Keep it up, I’ll make my next community service clearing up a body.”  
“Good one, what do you want?”  
“Kid, I gotta talk to you.”  
Alex went to laugh but then noticed how sincere he was being, causing her to squint in confusion at the possibility of bad news, which she really didn’t want any more of. “What?”  
Negan sat next to her, sighing out as he did and creasing his brow as he avoided eye contact. “This isn’t going to be easy, and I’m here for questions if you need it, just… take some time, okay?”  
“Negan-” she started. “What did you do?”  
“Jesus, it isn’t always me whose doing something. But just listen, okay?”  
Alex nodded and prepared for the worst.   
“Your mom. Kid, she wasn’t what you thought she was. I didn’t kill her for nothing-”  
“What the fuck are you talking about? You remember her?” Alex exploded in interruption.  
“Just fuckin’ listen, please,” Negan said again. “Zara… she wasn’t a good mother to you. Do you remember much of your childhood? She told me many things about you- her plans and whatnot. Zara never left your father for dead; she ran off with you whilst he simply slept, taking you just for her own needs. Almost as… leverage, I guess you could call it? There was a group after your father, something silly like he stole some of their rations to feed himself. Zara was also tangled up in that shit because of Edgar, and she thought it best if she offered you as a way of getting her own freedom-”  
“What the fuck are you trying to say?” Alex interrupted again but was met with no specific answer.  
“When we took you and Zara in, kid, she was just trying to find the group to offer you up. She never cared about your safety; don’t you get that? You were a teenager, Alex, you wouldn’t have known any better,” Negan continued. “I got wind of this- this deal that Zara was making- offering you up and shit like that. I just couldn’t let it go, kid, I couldn’t let her do it. So, I killed her. She was a goddamn piece of shit, kid, I’m sorry but it’s true.”  
Alex stared at Negan in disbelief. What was he telling her? What was she even thinking about this? Could it be true?  
“Are you lying to me?” Alex finally said. “If you are, Negan, I swear-”  
“I wouldn’t lie about that,” he replied. “I don’t hurt kids; I don’t let kids get hurt. She was a piece of shit, Alex, you deserved better from her. From both of them.”  
Alex sat with her mouth shut and confusion and fear on her face. She didn’t know what to say, or do, or think. Was her whole life going to be this fucked up? An abusive drunk of a father, and a lunatic mother who cared about no one but herself? She couldn’t take much more of these pity parties she was being thrown.   
“So… you’re telling me you had the right to kill her?”  
Negan nodded. “In some way, yes. I was protecting you, even if you don’t believe I would do such a thing.”  
“I’ve seen you with kids, I believe you wouldn’t do anything to harm them- or stop something from harming them at that.”  
Negan was glad she believed him on that front. “You’re a badass, kid, more so than many full-grown men that I’ve met. Let me tell you, you didn’t deserve any of this fuckin’ shit you’ve been put through, hell, I don’t know, maybe that’s why I felt so attracted to the thought of helping you or making amends.”  
“I guess she may have been doing that- I don’t know, I can’t remember.”  
“I just can’t believe I didn’t remember you. Four years is a long time, in all fairness, and this small cell does mess with a guy’s head…”  
“I’m sorry I tried to kill you,” Alex said, with Negan nodding in agreeance.  
“Even if you hate to admit it,” Negan said. “Us bringing you to the Sanctuary was the best thing that could have happened to you- and look at us now.”  
“I feel sick,” Alex said, finally processing what Negan had just told her. “Everything was a lie. Everything that happened between me and her. She never cared about me, she was just, what, grooming? Until she could have given me up for the safety of her own life? She didn’t give two shits about me- I was only leverage.”  
Alex went to get up. Negan tried grabbing her arm. “Kid, don’t.”  
“I mourned her for so long. I’ve cried every night thinking about her- and for what- this? And what took you so fucking god-damn long to tell me, huh? Months, Negan, MONTHS! You let me cry about her and you knew what fucking happened?” Alex turned her anger towards Negan, pushing him in the chest as he stood up.  
“It’s okay if you want to hit me,” he said, not attempting to stop the pushing the young girl was giving out. “I think you should mourn.”  
“Screw you- you’re only telling me this to seem like the good guy, aren’t you?” Alex didn’t even realise her attitude had changed to simply scrabbling at whatever emotion she could, which inevitably ended up as anger. But she was angry at the wrong person. “You fucking only told me this to feel good about yourself!” she screamed, through tears pouring from her eyes. She was glad there was no one else around to hear or see her performance.  
“Kid, it’s okay,” Negan said in between pushes. “If you need to mourn your mother all over again.”  
“Fuck you!” Alex said, beginning to punch out at his chest with balled fists. “You piece of shit. I hate her for what she did to me, and you can’t even let me do that? You want me to re-mourn her? I fucking went through hell after what you did to my family, and now- what? You get to be the hero and tell me you did it for a good reason? Fuck you- it’s not okay.”  
Alex continued hitting and crying as Negan grabbed her with his rough hands and pulled her into his chest and she continued crying ‘it’s not okay’. He tightly hugged her into himself as her punching lessened, and her screams drifted into helpless sobs.   
“It’s okay, kid,” he said, pressing a kiss on her head and then leaning his chin onto the top of her head, closing his eyes tightly and trying to drown out her heart-breaking sobs. “I’ve got you.”


	13. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon waking up, it becomes apparent that Alex is missing. The guys know for sure she didn't run away again, so they know exactly where to look to rescue her.

The next morning, Negan awoke in his cell to Daryl pounding on the bars with his crossbow. “I take it you told her?” he asked Negan, who had finally woken up properly and was scratching at his salt-and-pepper beard.   
“Yes, I told her. No thanks to you. It was good I did but hell, it wasn’t enjoyable.”  
“I take it she didn’t take it very well?” Daryl asked, dropping the crossbow to his side.  
“No, not really, but I think she’ll- wait, did you speak to the kid?”  
Daryl shook his head. “No, she’s gone. I thought you’d know something about it, but I take it this is the first you’re hearing of it?”  
“Gone?” Negan repeated. “What do you mean she’s just gone?”  
“Gone, jackass, she’s left, she’s not here.”  
Negan creased his brow. Alex didn’t seem like she was going to run away last night, like yeah, she was extremely upset and confused, but Negan thought she was going to work it through with his help. It’s what she said anyway.   
Fucksake kid, he thought, don’t do this now.  
“Well, what are we waiting for?” Negan asked, standing up to be let out of his cell. Daryl almost looked reluctant to do so, but knew he had to get Negan’s help as he was the one who was most likely going to know what she was up to.   
“The two of you seem close of recent,” Daryl said, as the pair walked towards the main building.  
“Jealous?” Negan joked, nudging into Daryl’s side which returned an angry look.  
“No, you idiot, I just think the girl needs to fit in, not hang about with serial killers like yourself. Remember, she’s nineteen, if this is some weird relationship flourishing, I really think you-”  
“Jesus, Daryl,” Negan interrupted. “She’s like a daughter, not a wife. I’m not looking to fuck her or whatever you’re thinking in your strange, fucked up brain.”  
“And look how well your first wives ended up for you,” Daryl said, almost maliciously. “I’m just saying. She’s a special kid, not someone you need to turn into a second you.”  
“I’m not?” Negan replied in question to Daryl as he was left behind when Daryl rushed up the stairs. Negan finally caught up with him and the two silenced the awkward conversation.  
“Rick’s busy so we need to get our heads on straight- I know it seems we’re wasting time doing this search, but I just got a bad feeling about it, you know?” Daryl said.  
“Me too,” Negan agreed. “I don’t know, man, I just don’t think she would have left.”  
“Edgar?”  
“I think so.”  
The two of them planned to leave Alexandria within the hour, after gathering up a few troops to help with the search. They didn’t know exactly where to go, but they pictured Edgar’s base not being too far from Alexandria as they had of course threatened to attack again, and who wants to be travelling hundreds of miles to attack another base?  
“We split up, head different ways,” Daryl started. “And we use these here walkie-talkies to communicate, you find anything you tell the group immediately, understand?”  
There were a murmur of agreements and some nodding, before Negan and Daryl led the group out of the gates, half of them confused why Negan and Daryl were pairing up and the other half slightly afraid of what they would be getting themselves into.  
Obviously, the pair weren’t 100% sure that Alex was with Edgar, but it was the best shot they had, and they were about as darn sure as they could have been that he would have pulled something like this. Negan feared that he had gone back to his old ways and was hurting Alex, and the thought for some reason made him want to keel over and kill Edgar all at the same time, so he would have to see his reaction when he arrived.  
It took about two hours of walking through the wooded area surrounding Alexandria before Daryl heard a scream and commotion coming from a clearing just ahead of them. He picked up the pace and the group with him, including Negan, matched his run as they headed at speed towards the dip in the trees.   
The screaming continued but was silenced to muffles, as the group came across the sight, they almost knew that they were going to, but hated, nonetheless.  
They had found Edgar and his group, and of course, they had found Alex. But they weren’t out of the woods yet, the girl was still in grave danger from what was happening just ahead.   
“No way!” Edgar screamed out in excitement and sarcasm as he noticed Daryl and Negan. “It’s the boys!”   
Negan switched his eyes along to a crane-like device, that was held over a pile of walkers in a shallow pit, and sure enough Alex was dangling off of the end of it, attached to a rope with a piece of cloth stuffed into her mouth.  
“You piece of shit-” Negan said quietly, watching Alex glance to them and then back towards the walkers grabbing at her feet. She squealed and screamed under the gag, but not much was happening in the way of noise.  
“We were waitin’ for you guys!” Edgar shouted again. He was stood on top of the crane, with one of the men from before sat inside it. “Here to watch the show?”  
Daryl started to walk closer, but Edgar shook his head and pointed to Alex. “Any funny business and I’ll drop her right now.”  
“Why you doin’ this?” Daryl questioned, squinting at Edgar. “What is the benefiting you?”  
Edgar shrugged and exchanged glances between his men on the floor before Daryl and Negan. “I said I was over the whole left for dead thing, but I guess I was kidding myself! And, also, this gives me a little leverage, no?”  
“It wasn’t the kid,” Negan started. “It was your wife, you know that.”  
The two pleaded to let the girl go, Negan trying to tell him the full story he had just told Alex, but he said he already knew, Alex had already played that card.  
“Fine,” Edgar said. “Look at it as leverage! You give me what I want, you can have the girl, otherwise… she will be dropped into that pit of hungry walkers there! Fair deal, I think…”  
Negan and Daryl exchanged worried glances, looking helplessly at Alex who was swinging mid-air trying with effort to keep her legs lifted from the walkers’ grab. “What do you want?” Daryl finally asked.  
“Now we’re talkin’! I want food rations. Your food rations,” he started. “Oh, don’t look so hurt by that, what did you expect? Once a week, whatever you have, half of it is ours. We are less so we can’t be out scavenging like you pros!” he laughed. “Do we have a deal?”  
They took a moment to justify what he was saying, it would take a hard hit on the community no matter what they did. They watched as Edgar demanded the man in the crane to lower it, as Alex’s legs dangled dangerously close to walker hands, to which she screamed out louder than before.   
“Deal! STOP!” Negan shouted. “Let her go, you piece of shit.”  
Edgar tutted. “Now, with language like that, you’re not going to get what you want any faster, now are you?”  
He flicked his finger again and the man dropped Alex further, another scream coming from behind the gag. At this point she was kicking walkers in the face to simply get them away, crushing a few skulls at the low point she was now dangling at.   
“Stop,” Daryl instructed more calmly than his partner. “We’ll give you what you want… just- let her go, please.”  
Edgar motioned towards Daryl with a swing. “That is the Southern hospitality I was looking for, right fella’s?!”   
Daryl looked at the ground, accepting defeat, but knowing they would figure a way around this setback.   
“Go on then, get your gal,” Edgar said, jumping from the crane and summoning his men to follow him “We’ll be round for collection a week today,” he said, disappearing with his group into the woods and leaving Alex dangling.  
Daryl and Negan took off at speed to the crane, Daryl jumping inside as Negan scrambled onto the top to climb along the arm of it. “You’re okay kid, we got you,” he said, climbing towards the rope Alex was attached to. “Daryl, swing to the left!”   
Daryl tried and struggled, but eventually swung the crane away from the pit so that the walkers had no chance of grabbing anymore. He lowered it to the ground as much as possible, still with Alex a couple feet up, before Negan climbed to the end and managed to untie the tight knot attaching the rope to the front of the crane. Alex collapsed into a pile on the floor, before both men jumped down towards her.  
Negan untied her hands and looked at the bright red rope burns over her wrists. Alex reached up and removed the gag from her mouth, which sat hanging around her neck like a scarf. “You okay?” he said, as she rubbed at her wrists.  
“Now I am,” she said back, hugging into herself. She didn’t look as upset as he had expected, maybe she knew something like this would happen.  
Daryl noticed the extra bruising and dried blood covering the girl. “Did he do this?” he asked.  
“What do you think?”  
“I think your father is a bigger piece of shit than your mother, doll,” Negan interrupted.  
“You got that right,” Alex replied, wiping a crust of blood from her chin. “It’s fine, I’m safe.”  
The men could tell she had been beat pretty bad, worse than the first attack from the dead brother’s family. It wasn’t a pleasant sight or thought to have, but they were just glad they had got her back safely. If it had gone on any longer who knows what would have happened.  
“Thank you for helping me,” she said. “Hopefully this is the last time,” Alex laughed.  
Negan chuckled back. “You get yourself into some situations, Mrs.”  
Alex started laughing again, with some tears pricking into her eyes before she finished, which Negan noticed had come on fast. “Why do they both hate me?”  
Negan stopped laughing and changed his expression to pity. “It’s not you, doll, it’s just- shit people.”  
He grasped her into a hug as they caught up with Daryl who was now a few feet ahead of them. “We can’t blame ourselves for shitty people doing shitty things.”  
Alex nodded at this, still almost laughing with her cries, maybe she didn’t need those parents. It seemed like she was gaining more than she ever had before with the men in front of her.


	14. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (The shortest chapter as of yet, sorry!)
> 
> Alex and Negan bond the most they have before, reminiscing about their past lives.

The next couple of days proved crucial in Alex and Negan’s friendship that had now formed more seriously. He was there when she needed to vent and cry, much to Daryl’s dislike of the whole thing. He knew she needed Negan, whether he liked it or not. For some reason, this horrible human being that Daryl once knew, was actually helping the young girl to heal.   
“What were you before all of this?” Alex questioned Negan one night as they were sitting outside, smoking and talking about life. Her opinion on him had really changed for the better.  
“I was a gym teacher, actually,” he replied. “Shocking, no?”  
Alex giggled.   
“What’s so funny, squirt?” he asked.  
“I just can’t imagine that for you,” she replied. “I see you more of… something a little more- scary? Or like, something with more oomph. A gym teacher to me doesn’t fit right, criminal maybe.”  
“Shut it, you,” he replied. “What about you, huh? What did you want to be when you were grown up? Say if this didn’t happen- what would you be doing?”  
“I’d always thought I’d end up in psychology,” Alex started, Negan looked at her with an interest. “A specific field though- you know, forensic or criminal. That kind of thing has always floated my boat.”  
“That’s an interesting field,” he said. “Lot of hard work.”  
“Yeah… well, that doesn’t matter now anyway due to this big fucktard of a world we are living in.”  
“Language, missy,” Negan said. “For the record, I think you would have made an excellent psychologist, forensic- or whatever you said.”  
Alex laughed. “Thanks for paying close attention.”  
“You know, offer still stands, anytime you need someone. I’m here for you, kid, okay? I know it must be hard having no adult figurein your life, so I can be that.”  
“You’re a perfect role model.”  
“Piss off, you know what I mean.”  
“Language, mister,” Alex said, standing up from the porch and making her way inside to go to bed for the night. She placed her hand on the door and went to slip inside, before looking back at the man who was still sitting looking out over the gardens. “And, for the record- I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And I’m really glad you are here, Negan.”  
With that, Alex slipped inside, unaware of the smile forming on Negan’s face. He had never heard that before, not from anyone here, not in a long time, at least. Someone needed him, and he needed her as much as he didn’t recognise it.


	15. What Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team decide what the best plan is to take down Edgar after struggling with the rations.

Over the coming weeks, Negan and Alex bonded closer than ever before, finding shared ground on a hard life. Edgar’s group came time and time again for their rations, which put a strain on the group, as Rick had expected.  
“Alex,” Rick called from the door to the main building. “Will you come to my office for a second?”  
Alex darted up the stairs, behind Rick who she had easily caught up with. “What’s up, boss man?” she said in a jokey tone.   
“Your father-”  
Rick started but was stopped when Alex made a grotesque face at having to think of Edgar as her father.  
“Edgar,” he corrected himself. “Keeps coming for his rations, and it sure as hell is making things a lot more difficult around here. I told him- I told him we couldn’t keep up what we were doing and-”  
“Wait, you what?” Alex questioned, perking upright on the desk she had perched herself on. “Have you lost your mind? Edgar’s ruthless, he’ll kill all of us.”  
“Yes- maybe so, but we have the weapons to put up a good fight. From what I’ve seen we have the numbers, and I tried to calculate the odds with Daryl and say Edgar did put up a fight we would have a fair chance.”  
Alex scratched at her face pondering if going up against her abusive father was worth the possibility of the deaths of everyone at Alexandria, but if Rick and Daryl were confident enough, she was willing to give it a try.   
“If you really think you have a shot,” Alex started, sighing out as she did so. “I don’t want to stop you. I’d love to see Edgar dead, believe me, I just- don’t want any of you to get hurt.”  
Rick put his hand slowly on Alex’s shoulder, looking down at the young girl who had a spark of fire in her eyes. “I know, kid. We’re family.”  
He brushed a thumb over her cheek as he left the office, leaving Alex staring at the floor in confusion and contempt. Family,she thought, never had a proper one of those. Was this it? Was this her family?   
She scratched at her cheek, overthinking as usual, still sat on Rick’s desk. She rubbed the scars on her arms. Quickly, Alex tuck her hair behind her ears and made her way back outside, trying to find Negan somewhere to express her concerns.   
She saw Simon, digging away at a patch of mud, almost as if he had replaced Negan in the community service department. Alex shot him a look of disgust and a grunt of look at you now, before searching the grounds for Negan. Instead, she found Daryl. Negan was somehow nowhere to be found, but she didn’t focus on the matter for too long.   
“Hey,” Alex said in a breath, pulling out a cigarette and smoking it as she sat down on a step. “Heard about the Edgar attack plan.”  
“Yeah,” Daryl replied, fixing a shoelace. “I think it’s a dangerous one, but ya know, it’s got to be done. We can’t keep doin’ this whole they get half of our shitshit anymore.”  
Alex agreed with him. They spoke briefly about her feelings on the matter, to which she said she didn’t have any, at least she didn’t think so.   
“Even if we just kill some of his men, he won’t be able to overpower us and he’ll have to back down, right?” Alex questioned, starting to wonder if she did want to see her father dead, no matter what he had done to her.  
“You don’t want him dead, do you?” Daryl said in a low tone, trying to squint at her through his long hair.  
Alex shrugged. “I thought I did, I just-”  
“He is your father. Even if he is a gigantic piece of shit.”  
Alex agreed with this statement. She looked up at the morning sun, pricking against her skin which she had only just started showing. She didn’t like the thought of people eyeing up her scars, wondering where they had come from or who had done it to her. It was embarrassing, in her eyes, somehow.  
Daryl noticed her discomfort as she looked up and down her arms, as he reached out and slowly put a hand on her forearm. “They’re nothing to be ashamed about, kid.”  
Alex smiled at him, he really was an amazing man, she felt comfortable around him. “Thank you, Daryl.”  
Daryl and Rick met up once again, discussing how Alex actually feels about the whole killing Edgar thing, Daryl mentioning how he thought she was putting on an act. They talked about how they would feel, but they also took into account that Alex was still young.   
“She ain’t gonna let on how she feels,” Daryl said. “She’s a strong girl- but I can just tell she doesn’t want him to die.”  
Rick pondered overnight about the complications of every option he could think up. He exhausted every possible route to go down, someone would suffer no matter what he did.


	16. The Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edgar decides to finally attack Alexandria, resulting in some loss for the group.

The day came that Edgar decided to attack.   
It was a brutal day. There were many lives lost, on both sides of the battle. Edgar’s team came in force, possibly with every man and woman they had, but they still didn’t match up to the amount of people on Rick’s side. They really had a fair amount of force, with their weapons that they must have taken weeks to rack up.   
Edgar seemed to have no mercy, trying to break down the gates at Alexandria. They managed to bust down a small section, which they entered through and blocked off with a tank-like van they had acquired. The section missing would be perfect walker entry when this was over- if it was over.   
Rick’s team made a point of trying not to kill anyone who didn’t need to be killed, which was blown out of the water after Edgar’s fighters showed no mercy, killing everything in their wake. Edgar himself stood on the tank, watching the army he had built destroy the lives of many.   
Alex rushed to the field, trying to help the goings on of her family and her father’s. There was gunfire, on top of the multiple random things used as weapons. She leapt forward, ready to sink her knife into anyone in front of her, but felt a pair of arms grab around her before pulling her off of the ground and swinging her round.   
The stranger who had picked her up was now rushing away from the firing towards the back of the building, almost trying to get her out of harm’s way. She scrambled in the persons arms, scratching backwards trying to find anything to injure them. She wasn’t getting anywhere, except grabbing at the persons eyes and nose, and kicking backwards into their groin as she had discovered it to be a man.  
There were a few grunts from the person before he dropped her onto the grass below, towering above her as she sat backwards.   
“Jesus, kid!” the recognisable voice said, pawing at his eyes. “The fuck’s the matter with you?”  
Alex scrunched her eyes, realising the man above her was Negan. “What are you doing? I need to help-”  
Alex screamed this at him as she began to scramble up from the ground on her hands, but to Negan’s boot lightly pushing her back down. “You’re not going back out there,” he said.  
Alex tried again to get up, but to no avail. Every time she tried to pick herself up from the ground, Negan would push or throw her back down, denying her any moment of being stood up.  
“Fuck off!” she shouted, lying down admitting defeat. “What is the matter with you?”  
He continued pressing at his eyes and nose. “Fuckin’ got me good, didn’t you…? I’m saving your god damn life; you could be a bit more grateful.”  
“Grateful? There are people dying out there, Negan! And what, we’re staying here not fucking helping? Let me get- fucking- up!”  
Alex tried again, and this time Negan sat down also, but on top of her. “You deserved this,” he said, almost chuckling at his own actions.  
“I’m going to kill you, piss off!”   
Alex gave up trying to get an upper hand on the man who was clearly much stronger than she. So, she lay underneath him on her stomach with her arms crossed, like a stroppy toddler.   
“Look, are you calm yet?” Negan questioned, resulting in a grunt from Alex. “I don’t like this as much as you do. Edgar- he’ll try and kill you- Rick said it himself. We’re protecting you, if you go out there and he sees you, he’ll head straight for you to fuck with us, understand? So, for the love of fuckin’ God, kid, just stay hidden.”  
Alex understood why he was doing it, but she was still pissed off she wasn’t allowed to help- especially because she knew she would be able to. She had never been much of a hide from the conflict type of girl.  
The war must have ended sharply, as the commotion had died down. Negan pressed a finger to his lips. “Will you behave if I let you go?” he asked, to a slight nod from the girl who stayed down as he stood up to investigate.  
The tank was gone, the clearing covered in dust from the ground, but Negan could see people standing. There were people tending to the dead and injured, dragging them to the side as the rest of the survivors started patching up the hole in the fence, killing a few walkers in their way. Negan started forward, looking around to see if he recognised the remaining people. There were more than he expected, but quite a fair few dead.   
He finally laid eyes on Rick, who was sitting with his head in his hands as Daryl barked orders to the group. “Rick?” he asked.  
Rick looked up, blood and tears staining his face. “I take it she’s fine?”  
Negan nodded. “What’s the damage?”  
“Not as many lost as we expected,” he said. “But he got a fair whack at us- and a lot of them survived. They really do everything that he orders them, you know. He can say one thing, and even if they know it’ll kill them, the followers just… do it.”  
Negan sat upright, an idea beginning to spark in his brain.  
“He said they’ll be back,” Rick continued. “And- I just- I just don’t know if we’ll be able to handle another death sweep like that.”


	17. Will He Come Back?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over the year, the attacks kept coming. This chapter takes place a few months down the line.  
> Daryl and Alex bond over the next year, speaking about whether or not they think a certain someone will return. Alex goes on a run, bumping into the said someone in a peculiar way.

Over the next year, the attacks kept coming and getting bigger and bigger. Alexandria lost many good fighters, but they still managed to stay afloat. Edgar never seemed to get injured in these wars, although he was always there, just watching. Maybe he was waiting for Alex to join? But who would ever find out?  
Alex and Daryl had fought a strong fight together, they realised they made quite the team when it came to defending the gates at Alexandria. Daryl felt a strong protective streak over Alex, and Alex felt comfortable acting as if Daryl was almost like a family friend. He was pissed off about her friendship with Negan, as he’d never gotten on with the man, but knew that the girl needed something like that to heal from the traumas she had been through.  
“What about before all this?” Daryl continued the conversation. “What were you doing? What did you want to be doing?”  
Alex tipped the bottle of whisky they were sharing to her lips. “Fuck me, you sound like a guidance counsellor.”  
“Language, Mrs, you sound like a sailor.”  
Alex laughed at him. “Fine,” she said. “Considering I was about fifteen before this started… I wasn’t anywhere exciting. School, fighting with my parents, living with that sack of shit.”  
Daryl chuckled- drinking the remainder of the bottle. “Yeah, you got that right.”  
“I always wanted to study psychology, you know,” Alex said. “I like finding out why people do certain things, act certain ways, all that crap. Hell, Negan would’ve been a perfect candidate.”  
“Jesus, the best,” Daryl laughed. “I’m sorry none of that could’ve worked out-”  
Alex shook her head. “It’s fine, everyone lost their lives, technically. We’re all in the same boat in this big clusterfuck off life.”  
“If I have to tell you one more time… Yeah, but you’re a kid, you know? You never even got a life.”  
There was a brief, awkward pause between the pair. Alex stared at the ground, knowing fine well Daryl was right. She’d never had a proper life in the first place, let alone when the world was turned upside down.   
“Do you think he’ll come back?” Alex questioned.  
“Of course he will,” Daryl replied. “Edgar won’t stop doing this ‘til we’re all-”  
Alex chucked the bottle at him. “No, not Edgar, you know…”  
“Negan? I dunno, kid, sometimes without him around it’s not actually that bad. He’s a bad guy, Alex, just… he’s done some nice things, I guess.”  
“Or he’s a good guy, but he’s just done some bad things.”  
Daryl shook his head. “I’ve never liked him, from the moment I laid eyes on the son of a bitch- he’s a monster. Sooner you figure it out, kid, the better.”  
“Not all monsters do monstrous things,” Alex said, standing up and heading to her room as Daryl continued drinking on the porch. She had had enough for one day.  
Negan had been gone for a couple months now, after the first few attacks on Alexandria. He had disappeared one night and never returned, without so much as a goodbye. Alex knew he hadn’t been captured by Edgar’s group, there was no way he would go without a fight that would have been heard. No, he left on his own doing.  
It was hard, having him there one minute and gone the next, and Alex actually missed the man. More than she expected, anyway. He had left a t-shirt, which Alex had actually stolen and wore to bed, taking in his smell every night. It was like a missing family member at this point to the young girl. She saw Negan as a father figure, as hers was so crap, but now he had left like most people in her life.  
Alex decided she needed space from Alexandria. From the destruction, the loss, the sad faces, Rick and Daryl, all of it. She told Rick she needed that, and he allowed her to go on a single person run, all by herself to make sure she wouldn’t end up blowing up after being cooped in for too long. He knew she was struggling with it all.  
She made her way through the woods, killing multiple walkers as she got her anger out. There was a small shop that Alex passed, stopping inside and grabbing a soda from one of the shelves that was almost completely barren. She drunk it, before exiting and heading just a little bit further out from the camp.   
Alex heard rustling, assuming it to be just another walker, preparing herself to kill it. She turned around with a jolt and pinpointed where the noise was coming from.  
And sure as hell, in front of her, coming out of a cluster of trees and bushes, was Negan. He looked slightly skinnier than before, his leather jacket in pristine condition. He walked forward to Alex, as she felt a smile pour across her face looking at her old friend.   
The smile started to dim as she felt Negan’s emotionless face approaching closer, the blood stained onto his cheeks. “Negan?” she questioned, taking a small and slow step backwards.  
He continued forward, Alex’s eyebrows furrowing and breathing getting heavy, something wasn’t right. When he didn’t answer her, Alex lifted up the staff she was carrying and tried to bring it down on his head, hoping just to knock him out so she could get help, as this wasn’t the Negan she remembered.  
Yet, he had the upper hand as always, and grabbed the staff simply in one hand, spinning the girl round and pinning her back against him, with the staff now pressed against her neck as he held it in one hand and held Alex with the other. She breathed out heavily in pain as he kept his grip, there was no way out of it. He had turned, how could he?  
“Sorry, kid,” he said, with no empathy whatsoever.  
Alex didn’t remember anything else as her vision started to fade as something hit her head, she started seeing blackspots before her consciousness drifted away and everything was in darkness.


	18. The Offering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan shows his true colours, resulting in a win for the team, as he learns a lot more about Alex's past than he intended.

Negan stepped out into a clearing.   
He had left Alex, unconscious, tied to a chair in a small shack just further up in the woods. He was going to be using her as leverage against Edgar, simply for his freedom.   
“Edgar,” Negan said, approaching the man stood with four other soldiers. They all quickly put their knives up in unison, as to make sure this wasn’t someone attacking their precious leader. “Wow, calm it,” he said.  
Edgar turned and faced Negan. “There we are, angel face.”  
“I did what you asked me to,” Negan said, pointing in a direction further into the woods. “I have the girl, just as I said.”  
Edgar began clapping slowly, a smirk coming over his face. “Well done!” he said, passive aggressively. “Where is the young lamb?”  
“I need to have your word on my freedom, first,” Negan said, stepping backwards slightly from the man in front. “I just need to know my leverage worked.”  
“I am a man of my word, Neg,” Edgar said, emphasising his new nickname for Negan. “I just want to kill the girl, that’s all. And you are free. I wanted to be the one to do it.”  
Negan seemed to wince at the man saying he wanted to kill Alex, after all, they had become close over the past year. “Are you- are you going to hurt her?” Negan asked.  
“Does that bother you?” Edgar laughed. “Of course. The little bitch deserves it.”  
Negan swallowed harshly. “…Okay. So, I’m free from you?”  
Edgar nodded. “Just show me where she is, and voila, you’re gone.”  
Negan had been working with Edgar for the past month. He escaped Alexandria fairly easy, with the help of knowing how Alex was getting in and out all that time ago. He left and found Edgar, and with Edgar knowing of the great Negan before he was taken as prisoner, he certainly obliged to having him on his side, hoping to bring the old Negan back to business.   
Negan was working as the right-hand man, second in control, until he realised, he wanted freedom. Negan didn’t want this anymore. He wanted to be free, he wanted peace, silence, a quiet life at the end of the world. He didn’t want any more torturing, murdering… hurting people with no reason to. So, they struck a deal. If Negan brought Edgar Alex, he would be free and not have to worry about being tracked down ever again.  
So, that is exactly what he did.  
Negan and Edgar walked through the wood alone, towards where Negan had set up Alex to be handed over. “Why do you want the girl dead so bad?” Negan dared to question.  
Edgar sighed out. “Ah- Neg- it’s one I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”  
“Try me.”  
“Alex has been a pain in my ass since she was born. The girl gets pregnant at fifteen…just before this shit started, wants the baby. So, of course I do what any sane father would do, right?”  
Pregnant? Negan thought, Alex was pregnant and never told me.He never saw that one coming. “Let her keep it?” he questioned, knowing fine well it would never be that with this insane man standing next to him. Hell, he even wanted to kill his own daughter.  
“Oh God no,” Edgar laughed. “I beat the little bastard out of her, obviously.”  
Negan tried to swallow his anger, making himself agree with the man long enough to get out of his company. It enraged him.   
“So, obviously the little shit hated me for not letting her have that piece of shit child,” Edgar continued. “That’s what the little slut gets for getting pregnant so young.”  
Negan could see the shack further up. He was nearly out of this god-awful conversation.   
“Anyway,” Edgar said. “All her life, even before that, she was fuckin’ annoying. I never wanted her, that was Zara’s doing. She told me she was on the pill, etc, etc. And then the runt was born, and it ruined my fuckin’ life. So, of course, when you don’t want a kid you got, it makes them an easy punchin’ bag,” Edgar laughed, nudging into Negan with his elbow to get him to join in. He really thought Negan was enjoying and relating to this conversation of beating up his own child, his own blood.  
“I could tell you some stories, Neg, of what I did to that girl that would impress a fucker like yourself… God, I can’t wait to get that little bitch back in my possession.”  
Possession.  
That just stuck wrong with Negan, as the two of them approached the shack.  
“I definitely have your word,” Negan reiterated once again. “I’m gone after this, you won’t look for me?”  
“After this, babe,” Edgar said. “You don’t exist to me, capeeshe?”  
Negan nodded. “Right this way, then. In here.”  
Edgar stood ahead of Negan, breathing in deeply and dramatically, as if this was the most important thing that had ever happened to him. He slowly reached for the shack’s handle and felt a surge of power within him.   
That feeling of power and excitement was cut short when Edgar felt the sharp blade of Negan’s knife stabbing through his neck.  
Edgar stopped, jolting backwards as the knife was extracted from his neck, blood seeping from either side. Negan caught the man as he fell backwards, a hand grasping at his throat. He bubbled blood from his lips, falling out onto his chest as he tried to speak. There were no words, only the sound of gasping breaths.  
“You disgust me,” Negan spat at the man as he lay him down on the grass. “You worthless piece of shit had this coming from day one. Rot in hell.”  
Edgar lay there on the grass, grasping at meaningless breath as he slowly slipped out of consciousness. The pathetic attempts at breathing lowered to nothing and he finally died, in front of Negan, who had never been prouder of himself.   
“Dick,” he said, kicking at the corpse.  
Negan straightened himself out, wiping the blood against his jacket sleeve, before stepping over the body and reaching for the door handle. He pulled it open and went to step inside.  
“Look, kid,” he started. “I’m sorry, but it-”  
Negan stopped in his tracks as he saw the empty chair, rope fallen around the arms of it. Of course, Alex had figured a way out. He wasn’t sure how; he knew he had tied those ropes pretty damn tight. Negan furrowed his brow and cocked his head to the side, stepping into the shack.   
“Where is she, fucker?” Daryl shouted, planting a blow to the side of Negan’s face with his crossbow. Negan stumbled backwards and was pressed up against the side of the shack with Daryl’s crossbow pinned against his face. He attempted to put his hands up.  
“I know you fuckin’ took her. What did you do, Negan?!”  
Negan grunted as he was pressed to the hard wood. “She’s fine, I did it.”  
“What are you fuckin’ talkin’ about?” Daryl questioned, not loosening the grip on the crossbow. “Where is she?”  
“I assume- will you fuckin’ get that out my fuckin’ face? I assume she’s on her way back to Alexandria. I did it, I killed Edgar.”  
Daryl pursed his lips in thought. “You what?” he said, slightly lowering the crossbow.  
“That’s where I’ve been for the last couple of months…” Negan said breathlessly. “I was getting on his good side, became his right-hand man. Then I took Alex as bait, I know it was wrong, but I knew it would work. I killed him, look outside.”  
Daryl looked at the man again, before stepping out of the shack and pausing before the body. “Holy fuck,” he expressed, looking back at Negan with pride. “You did this… to save all of us, or what?”  
Negan nodded. “It was the only way. My plan worked, Daryl, I want to come back.”  
Daryl nodded, looking away from Negan. “You’re a fuckin’ piece of shit, man, but… I guess, you’re growin’ on me.”  
Negan tried to hide what seemed to be a smirk. “Thanks, doll face, you too.”  
“What do we do with him?” Daryl asked.  
“I wouldn’t even call him a him,” Negan spat. “After what he told me about what he did to Alex… the fucker doesn’t even deserve a name.”  
“Piece of shit.”  
Negan and Daryl dragged the body into the shack, before making their way back to Alexandria together. They assumed Alex was already there and spilling to Rick that Negan was on the opposing side, so if they had gotten there without a warning, the guards would have most likely shot Negan on sight.  
Daryl used his walkie-talkie and radioed Rick on their walk back, telling him what Negan was up to all these months and how he had killed Edgar, proving that he had seen the body himself and could he pass the message on, especially to Alex.   
On the walk back, Negan couldn’t stop his mind from drifting to Alex’s past. She had had a child. Alex had been pregnant, and the child had beenmurdered. Murdered by her own father. It disgusted him. He didn’t know what to do or if he should bring up the topic to Alex. The fact that she never had proved to him it was something deep and dark, as she had told him the rest of her darkest secrets. This one was different; this one was darker. He felt such relief for killing that monster, he felt a surge of happiness from it.  
“Daryl,” Negan started. “If you knew something, and you knew someone needed to talk about it- but it was an extremely difficult conversation that they might not want to talk about, what would you do?”  
“We’re not havin’ some shitty brother conversation, you hear me?” Daryl said. “But, I dunno. I guess, if I thought it benefited them by talkin’, then yeah, guess I’d do that. I take it we’re talkin’ about Alex here?”  
Negan nodded. “My thoughts exactly.”  
Daryl knew something bad must have happened, but he wasn’t really one for deep chats so he thought it best not to interfere, he would leave that to Alex and Negan.


	19. The Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Daryl arrive back at Alexandria after Negan's undercover work, which he goes to speak to Alex about.

They arrived back at Alexandria, the guards opening the gates as soon as they saw the pair. Thank God for radio technology, otherwise Negan would most likely be dead. The two of them walked towards Rick’s office, hoping to find Alex in there with him, but it was just Rick sitting at a desk.  
“Welcome back,” he said, pushing the chair back and standing up, shaking Negan’s hand. “Thank you, Negan. I know that must have been hard.”  
Negan felt a weird feeling he hadn’t before, as he smiled at the man that he had had as an enemy for so long. He shook his head and did a quick nod. Was it… accomplishment? Happiness? Was it pride in himself? It felt weird being congratulated by the pair. “Is she here?” he questioned.  
Rick shook his head. “She’s in her room, I don’t think she’s taking this as well as we had expected.”  
Negan frowned. “What do you mean?”  
Rick shrugged. “I thought she’d be happy at Edgar’s demise… but, I guess, it was her father at the end of the day.”  
Negan almost burst with anger, a volcano of rage building up inside him. “The man was a piece of fuckin’ shit! He beat the kid so fuckin’ hard that she lost a foetus, you hear me?”  
As soon as he let the words slip, he knew he shouldn’t have. Rick and Daryl’s face simultaneously changed from confused to pure shock. He clenched his eyes shut sighing out an oh fuck, before rubbing his forehead and back towards his neck. “I shouldn’t have said that.”  
“He what?” Rick questioned, standing up straighter and walking around the desk. He noticed Negan didn’t want to continue that conversation, so Rick sighed out and prepared a new one. “Look, sometimes people act differently around loss; we don’t know what she’s thinking. I guess… she just needs people right now.”  
Daryl and Negan nodded, both following one another out of the room, leaving Rick to flop back down on his seat as he breathed out in an oncoming rage. Piece of shit deserves to be dead, he thought. He tried to calm himself with breathing, shutting his eyes and letting himself fall into calmness.  
“You see her,” Daryl commanded. “We both know that’s for the best.”  
Negan nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets, after picking at some of Edgar’s blood on his sleeve. He approached Alex’s door, knocking lightly on the frame. “Alex?” he said.  
Alex was inside, wrapped in her duvet and lying on her side, facing away from the door. She was wide awake but staring down unblinking and emotionless at the wooden floorboards, waiting for the knocking to stop. She wanted to be left alone, unaware of what she was feeling.   
The knocking continued, Alex still not even flinching at the sounds. She just wanted to be left to run this course, and she would be back on her feet in a couple days, she just knew it.   
“Alex, if you don’t answer me, I’ll come in anyway,” Negan said, leaning his head on the door. “We gotta talk, kid.”  
Alex didn’t reply once again, causing Negan to turn the knob and walk into the room without consent. He didn’t care at this point, he only cared about seeing if the young girl was alright, which she didn’t seem.  
“Hey, hey, hey,” he said in a soft and concerned tone, pacing around to the other side of the bed and crouching down in front of Alex so their faces were looking at one another. “You feeling okay, kid?”  
Alex said nothing again.   
“You gotta talk to me at some point,” Negan said, brushing a piece of hair behind Alex’s ear with his fingers. “I know you feel confused.”  
“Pleas just leave me alone,” Alex finally said, the tone of her voice giving away the fact that she had been crying. “You don’t know anything.”  
“Are you upset about Edgar?” he questioned.  
“Don’t say his name.”  
Alex didn’t look at Negan, instead, her eyes dropped to the floor once again. “I just want to be left alone- fuck off.”  
She blinked tears out of her eyes, Negan noticed, and he physically moved the girl over on the bed so he could sit next to her, her lying down cuddled in her duvet still.  
“You need to get it out,” Negan said. “And if it’s anger… it’s fine directed at me.”  
“Leave me alone, Negan,” Alex said, blinking harshly to get the tears out of her eyes. They trickled down her cheeks and onto the mattress below. “You did this.”  
“There we go, c’mon kid, you got more in you than that.”  
Alex sat up, the duvet falling around her shoulders. “Don’t fucking treat this like one of your stupid fucking trust exercises. This isn’t one of those fucking things we do where we bond. You killed my father, you did that. You left for months without fucking telling me where you went, you left me here like everyone fucking else. You kidnapped me, you made me hate you and fear you all over again-”  
Negan sighed and put his hand on her leg. “It was shitty, but it had to be done.”  
“You only killed him so you would be the hero, you know. I know why you did it, you don’t give a damn about anyone but yourself. You just did it to seem… worth something,” Alex spat harshly.  
Negan looked down and up again at her, a small glimmer of defeat in his eyes. “If I didn’t care about anyone but my damn self, why am I still here? Why did I kill your mother for you? Why did I fuckin’ save your ass time and time again? I could have killed everyone here if I didn’t fuckin’ care about any of you, but guess what, princess, I fuckin’ do.”  
Alex looked him up and down. “You’re a piece of shit.”  
He could see her beginning to cry again.  
“You’re a worthless piece of shit, you know that?”   
Negan felt a tinge of pain at her harsh words, but knew she was acting out due to the confusion and sadness she was feeling, so he blanked the words out of his mind. “Kid…” he started again.  
Alex thrashed out and slapped him across the face, preparing to strike another blow when Negan quickly reached up and grabbed her wrist. “Kid, fuckin’ stop it.”  
“Let go of me, asshole,” she shouted. “You’re shit.”  
Alex used her free hand to slap and hit out at Negan, which he dodged as best he could. She continued shouting abuse at the man, breaking out into tears and hysterical screams just as he had expected. “Once again, kid, it’s okay,” Negan said.  
“Stop fucking saying that!” Alex said again, lashing out in more force and crashing a deafening blow to Negan’s nose, bursting it open. A large trickle of blood fell from it, causing Alex to suddenly stop, realising what she had done. She gasped and reached a hand up to her mouth, eyes wide at the damage she had caused.   
Negan released her other hand, which he then used his free ones to wipe the blood from his nose. “Fuck, kid,” he said.  
“I’m- I- I’m so sorry,” Alex said in a rushed whisper, showing that she was scared of the incident that had just happen. She was almost in a flashback, thinking about what her father would have done if this had happened. She never had flashbacks before, not like this anyway, but Alex now sat in fear of the man in front of her.  
She leapt from the bed, bounding towards the door which just worried Negan anymore, Alex mistaking this for agitation. She tried to pull the door open, which Negan stopped by slamming it shut with his hand above hers.  
“Kid, stop,” he said with more authority, causing Alex to flinch and press her head against the door in tears. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”  
He spun Alex around, his hands now pressed gently on her shoulders. She was hysterically crying and hyperventilating, making Negan feel a sense of upset in himself, looking at the poor girl in such a state.   
“You’re okay, Alex,” he said, worriedly.  
“Please, leave me alone,” she shouted again.  
Alex lurched out again, pushing her balled fists into his chest over and over again. “PLEASE! Don’t fucking hurt me.”  
Negan grabbed her small, balled fists and held them loosely in his large hands. “Your father told me what he did to you.”  
Alex looked up at him, momentarily slowing her breathing and stopping trying to punch him. She let her hands go loose in his. “You what?”  
“I know everything, kid,” Negan said. “I want to help you, I ain’t gonna hurt you.”  
Negan watched Alex stop her fighting, and she became even smaller than she actually was. She sunk down to the ground, back pressed against the door as he tears came out silently this time. “I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry,” Negan said, following her down and letting go of her hands, now on his knees in front of the girl. “I’m here, okay. I ain’t goin’ anywhere, I won’t leave you- ever again.”  
Alex continued crying but her tears were muffled by Negan’s jacket as he embraced her in for a tight hug, tightening his hands around the back of her small frame. She’s even smaller than before, he thought, must not be eating right. He held Alex tightly against his chest and breathed into her hair, his head resting on her forehead like they did the first time he comforted her. “I got you, kid.”


	20. Back in Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set a year ahead, and the entire idea of Alexandria had changed.  
> Alex goes to find her old friends.

Another year had passed, Alex was now twenty-one.   
She sat with her legs swinging off of a porch of a building, taking a long drag off of a cigarette. I got you, kid. The sentence played through her mind, again and again. Negan, the big scary monster of the Sanctuary, caring for a young girl like her? She couldn’t comprehend why he had taken such a liking to her- after all, she did want him dead for the first half of their friendship. Alex never understood a man like him wanting to look after, to protect, to care for, a girl like her. It never made sense in her head. Well, it didn’t have to anymore.   
This should have been the big year for her, the one where she hit proper adulthood. This was the big girl years, her childhood finally behind her, yet this had been stolen away when the world decided to end. And instead she was sat in a room, trying to paint what she could see out of the window next to a girl who was peeping at her continuously.   
“Hey,” the girl finally piped up. “My name’s Imogen.”  
Alex smiled awkwardly at her. “Alex.”  
“What are you doing?”  
“Painting,” Alex said, not bothering to look at Imogen. She guessed she was roughly the same age, but Alex wanted nothing less than bonding and small talk.   
“It’s really good- how long have you been here?” Imogen questioned.  
Alex sighed quietly, still not taking her eyes off of her painting. “About a year and a bit.”  
“Oh, cool,” Imogen said, not getting the hint that Alex really wasn’t interested. “I’ve only been here a month, I think. It’s nice, right?”  
Alex made a sound to mimic a yes, raising her eyebrows and nodding her head at Imogen, finally looking up from her painting.  
The year and a half that Alex had been at the new camp had passed slowly. She missed Alexandria; it had become her home. But that was gone now, or so she guessed. Alexandria had suffered a tremendous loss of men when the walkers broke down a fence during the night, biting as many as they could. Alex ran in the commotion, as far as she could, until she was found by Noel, someone who was running the camp she was in now. It was nice, not Alexandria by any stretch, but nice.   
After Alex had ran, in the bustle of attack and fear, she couldn’t find Negan or Daryl at all, not even Rick was around. She was terrified, these people had become her family. She didn’t even know if they had survived the attack, she just prayed every night they did. After that, Alex became quieter, keeping to herself and causing no trouble, mainly out of the pain she felt after being separated from her new adoptive family.  
“I think it’s cooler here than my last camp,” Imogen continued, snapping Alex out of her thought process. “That one was very… structured.”  
Imogen chuckled.  
Alex looked back at the girl, she almost seemed dim, Alex thought. But she guessed she should just play along with conversation to be nice. Friendly. “How long were you in that one?”  
“Oh,” Imogen perked up even more so after hearing Alex show interest. “About a year, I think. Who knows, everything is just morphing into one these days!”  
Alex tried to give off a laugh. “Yeah, crazy.”  
“It was quite a weird camp,” Imogen continued, unaware that Alex had gone back to painting and was ignoring her. “I’ve had camps with leaders and whatnot before, but this one was just even more… scary. Threatening? I don’t know really. I guess you could say he was properly in charge!” Imogen broke into a fit of laughter much to Alex’s confusion at what the hell she was laughing at.   
“That sounds… different,” Alex said, setting her paintbrush down and admiring her painting.  
“Yeah! It was,” Imogen continued. “It was strange- I lost my family a long time ago, and I guess the leader there wanted me to feel like I belonged. So, this leader man set me up with a woman and man and they took me in as their own! Can you believe that?”  
“Not at all,” Alex said, still not really listening to the girl’s story.  
“I know right! So, this leader man. What the hell was his name? God, it was a weird one so I’m not sure how it slipped my mind!” Imogen burst into a fit of laughter again, Alex was sure she had a few screws loose. “Yes! Where was I? So, this leader man, Negan I think he was called. He was pretty scary, and-”  
Alex darted her eyes towards the girl, looking as if she had just seen a ghost. “What did you just say?”  
“He was quite scary,” Imogen said, looking intently at Alex.  
“No, the name?”  
“Oh! Negan.”  
Alex started to doubt that this could be true. Surely it would be too much of a coincidence? But then again, that name wasn’t very common. She didn’t want to get her hopes up.  
“He’s a good leader, I guess,” Imogen continued. “Well-known, so I hear. Apparently, you do not want to get on his bad side. I’ve heard so many things about that man… why, just before I left to come here- he killed a man for looking at him wrong! It’s wild!”  
“He what?” Alex questioned with a twang of confusion. “Wait, what did this guy look like?”  
“Umm...” Imogen thought.  
“Think, Imogen, what did he look like? Defining features, anything?”  
“He had… a beard, dark beard. Kind of like, grey and black?” Imogen questioned herself. “I guess he was good looking, well actually, yes. Very good looking, for an older guy anyway. Maybe about fifties? He had… he always wore this leather jacket, you know, all the time. Oh! And he carried this bat- it was terrifying. This big old bat with- get this- barbed wire wrapped around it.”  
Lucille,Alex thought, he found her? Alex was sure Daryl and Rick got rid of the bat, had he found a new one? Was he back to his old ways?  
“Does he- did he, kill people? A lot of people?” Alex questioned, scared to hear the answer.  
Imogen looked at her with wider eyes. “Yeah- kind of. He killed people that deserved it, he said. I’d only heard of him killing others through gossip, you know, I never knew what was real and wasn’t.”  
“Was he a bad leader? You know, did he have wives? Did he keep people prisoner? Things like that.”  
“Gosh, you sure are interested in this guy.”  
“Just curious,” Alex said, trying to sound as convincing as possible.  
“No, no wives,” Imogen said, much to Alex’s relief. “He was quite good, I guess, you know, took care of people when they needed it, but he also struck the fear of God into other people. Might have just been the stories they heard. And prisoners? Nah, not that I know of. I mean, I was allowed to leave.”  
“This may be a big ask,” Alex said. “Do you think you could take me there?”  
“To my old camp?”  
Alex nodded. If she saw Negan, maybe he could come with her and they could find Daryl and Rick, and then they could rebuild Alexandria. She guessed it was a long shot, but it really was the only choice Alex had.   
“I mean, yeah, sure. I don’t see why not.”  
Alex smiled at the answer.  
The very next day, Alex and Imogen were allowed to set off by themselves, guarded with weapons that Alex had helped Imogen get the hand of, to find Negan’s new camp. They found their way pretty easily, as it turns out, Imogen knew the way exactly and it was precisely an hour walk from the Noel’s camp.  
“Are you sure we’ll be okay getting in?” Imogen asked. “What if he doesn’t like visitors? You know, I’ve heard stories of people coming unannounced-”  
“Imogen,” Alex started, cutting her off. “Trust me, okay?”  
The girls approached the gates, where two armed guards were stood, pointing their guns at the ground. They shouted at the two as they approached, asking if they were here for a reason. Upon no answer, which Alex had intended on giving, the guards grabbed the two girls and dragged them by their forearms up to Negan’s office, both of them struggling to scramble along the ground with the larger guards speeding up.  
“You two shits can answer to the boss himself. Good luck,” the smaller one said, to Alex’s grinning face.  
She knew if Negan was back to his old tricks that they wouldn’t just get to see the almighty leader by just asking, so acting like they were suspicious was always the best way to get in front of the big boss man. Her plan was working perfectly. Now she just had to face Negan and hope to God that he hadn’t changed that much.  
“What is it?!” Alex heard the familiar voice from behind a door in the office that Imogen and she were now forced kneeling in.   
The two girls were on their knees, two guards behind them with guns pressed against the backs of their heads, waiting for their master’s orders.  
“If this isn’t good, I swear to God,” Negan’s voice barked from the small room he was sitting in. Alex could sense him moving towards the door, his boots stomping down on the floor. She was very apprehensive about seeing him again.  
And then there he was. The same old Negan she hadn’t seen in over a year, looking as good as ever in his typical leather jacket, he looked better than he had at Alexandria. Of course, here he had more rations, he was in control of himself. He didn’t have to work for a living, he was in charge. He hadn’t noticed her yet.


	21. Who are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan seems different to Alex, and she fears he has gone back to his old ways after the pair reunite.

“Well, if it isn’t little miss ‘I want out of here’!” Negan yelled in a jokey manner. “How are we, sweet pea?”  
Imogen nodded with a big gulp, clearly terrified of the man in front of her. “G-g-good, sir.”  
He nodded back at her. His glance ever so slowly began moving from Imogen to Alex, as he started speaking again. “Your wee family has miss-”  
Negan’s voice stuck in his throat as he locked eyes with Alex. His breathing almost stopped, just as hers did. Alex looked as if tears were pricking in her eyes. The time seemed to stop, the two of them staring at each other in amazement.   
“Hello stranger,” Alex finally interrupted the silence.  
Negan didn’t reply, instead he stretched his bat out to point at Alex’s face, causing her to recoil backwards in shock. He stared down at her.   
“Negan?”  
The guard picked Alex up and brought her to her feet, so that she was a bit taller staring up at Negan, who looked down his nose at her, still looking like he had seen a ghost.  
Alex became frightened, confused why Negan hadn’t spoken, and was acting like he wanted to bash her head in with Lucille, which she knew he was capable of.  
He lowered the bat, and without Alex managing to comprehend what was going on, Negan quickly embraced her in a tight hug, dropping his bat to the ground.  
“I missed you, kid,” he said aloud, breathing into her hair.  
The pair hugged like a father and daughter reunion for what seemed like hours, with everyone watching in confusion, before parting ways and staring at each other again.  
“Where the fuck you been?” he almost laughed, picking Lucille up. “After Alexandria?”  
“I went to the place Imogen ended up,” Alex said. “It was nice… not Alexandria, but simple, you know? I see you’ve been up to a lot, mister.”  
One of the guards stepped forward, almost pissed off that Alex had had some cheek with Negan, making it abundantly clear that people were once again too afraid to say anything out of line with the man. Negan raised his hand up to the guard to get him to back off.  
“She’s fine,” he said. “I built up a Sanctuary 2.0. Like it?”  
“Are you back to your old ways, or is it a Negan 2.0, too?” Alex questioned, resulting in a laugh from Negan.   
“Not in the way you’re thinking of,” he replied. “I don’t kill random fuckers anymore.”  
“Well, that’s a start.”  
Negan smiled, looking deep at Alex with content, as if he was seeing his family for the first time in months. “Can you leave us for a moment?” he beckoned to the guards, as they took Imogen outside to give the pair some privacy.   
Alex felt at comfort seeing her old friend again, her family. Negan looked at her like a proud father. “You look well. How have you been?”  
“I look well?” Alex chuckled. “Good, I mean, it’s been different- I miss you guys more than I could put into words. I haven’t seen Rick or Daryl at all, I was actually wondering if you had?”  
“Well, doll, you mean you didn’t come all the way here to see your dear old Negan?” Negan laughed.   
Alex rolled her eyes and pushed into him. “Shut up, grandpa, of course I did. How are you? How have things been?”  
Negan sighed and nodded simultaneously. “Yeah… you know, as good as they can be, I guess? It’s not Alexandria… but I think I prefer it. I miss you and a lot of the others, hell, even Daryl- but I have my power back here- and I can sure as fuck say I missed that-”  
“Language, mister.”  
“Sorry. But you know what I mean, it’s different. But it’s something I built; people appreciate my power here. They see a future with it. They believe in it.”  
Alex stared up at Negan in content. He was happy again, with his Sanctuary back up and running in his control. She remembered the first time she had laid eyes on Negan at Alexandria. The man was broken, although, at the time that is what she wanted. But now, although she missed Negan with all her heart, she was happy for him where he was.  
“You okay? You went kind of glassy there,” Negan interrupted Alex’s train of thoughts, when she realised that she had been staring at him in depth.  
She blinked herself back into realisation. “God, yeah, sorry. I was just- just thinking about your life here now.”  
Negan grinned.  
“It’s pretty special,” Alex said. “You really have everything you wanted back.”  
“Well, almost everything,” Negan looked at Lucille. “And hey, you’re here too now, right? I take it you’re staying?”  
Alex went to open her mouth but couldn’t think of what to say, but Negan picked up on this and his smile dropped.  
“You’re not staying, are you?” he questioned.  
“I would love to be here with you, Negan, but… you know, I need to find Daryl. I need to find Rick.”  
Negan nodded. “No, of course- sorry, I was thinking out of character.”  
Alex rubbed his shoulder. “You’re allowed to have feelings even if you’re back into big bad Negan.”  
Negan gently nudged her with the end of his bat. “Piss off, you, you know I’m slightly different.”  
“I know,” Alex chuckled softly. “Maybe if I find them… we could come back here?”  
“Doll, you know I would love you here… but Daryl- I don’t know, I don’t know if I can trust him to follow the rules.”  
“You don’t need rules like that, you don’t-”  
“Listen, kid,” Negan said, a bit sterner. “I built my Sanctuary back up. I’m in control here- I wouldn’t be in control if I let people, Daryl for example, walk all over me. I need this power, people have hope here.”  
Alex dropped her smile as he grabbed her arm, and then he retaliated as he knew he shouldn’t have. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”  
“No, it’s fine… Just… Don’t let it get to your head.”  
Alex went to turn away from Negan and head to the door, was he really falling back into his own ways? Surely, not after everything?  
“Alex?” Negan questioned, as Alex kept her back to him in slight tension. “Are you just leaving like that?”  
She sensed a hint of regret in his voice.   
“I need to find Daryl,” Alex said back, proceeding to the door as he followed her.  
Alex and Negan were greeted by the guards and Imogen. “Everything okay, boss?” one asked Negan, he took a minute to answer.  
“Swell, thanks,” Alex said, sarcastically. The guard didn’t take well to this, glaring at her with a look and nudging her with his gun. “Yes?” Alex asked in disgust.  
“Don’t speak out of turn,” Negan said, clearly looking like he didn’t want to as the words left his lips.  
“Excuse me?” Alex asked in shock.   
“Show our leader some respect,” the same guard pushed her again.  
“Fuck off with that.”  
“Hey!” Negan shouted, startling the two girls. “Watch your mouth.”  
Negan grabbed her harshly by the forearm, a lot harder than when they were alone, looking down at her with forced anger. “You learn your place, girl,” he said, clearly a ruse for the company they were now in.  
Alex was suddenly up close to Negan’s face, looking at him with sheer disgust at what he had become again. Sure, he wasn’t murdering innocents, but he had the same smug leader look he had had the first time Alex had come across him. She could tell he didn’t really want to act this way, but he wouldn’t falter for a moment if it meant ruining his rep. “Swallow your pride, Negan,” she started. “And remember who you were before this.”  
Alex harshly removed herself from his grasp, taking one last disgusted look at her former friend, amazed at how he had turned out from how he was at the start of the reunion. What had gotten into him? Maybe he’s proving himself, Alex thought.  
They walked down the stairs, Imogen following as Alex took the lead. They reached outside, Negan a step behind Alex as he continuously tried to speak to her, but Alex was storming ahead at this rate. They reached the gate, Negan reaching a hand to grab Alex’s shoulder, yet she lurched it forward out of his grasp as his hand fell limply to his side. His face curled into despair; he was upset they had ended this way, even though it was his own fault. And surely enough, the gate opened, and Alex was once again out of his life.


	22. It's Your Lucky Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex leaves, and a second visitor visits Negan, as he feels distraught over his actions.  
> Alex reunites with another old friend.

Negan stood looking at the gate as it closed, knowing that that could well have been the last time he would ever see Alex. Why would she want to see him again after the way he had acted? But he had to. He had to show power, not weakness.  
“Boss, what next?” the guard interrupted his train of thought.  
“Just, go fuckin’ somewhere else.”  
Negan waved Lucille in his face, to show the guard to actually piss off, he wasn’t in the mood for talking or instructing. Then, Negan was left alone.  
Suddenly, he felt a weird object press against his cheek. “Hey, dickhead.”  
He recognised that voice.   
Negan struggled to look to his left with the large black crossbow sticking to his cheek, but when he did, he knew who he was going to see. It lit some sort of happiness inside him that he didn’t expect, and a grin placed itself over his lips.   
“Funnily enough, doll face,” Negan said. “You’re just the man I was hoping to see.”  
Daryl stood staring at Negan, the two of them locking eyes as he dropped the crossbow slowly. “Is that so?”  
Negan nodded. “You will NOT believe the morning I have had, dearest.”  
Daryl noticed Negan was attacking even more so dickish, like his old self, in the way he was holding himself. “And are you going to tell me why? Take it you’re back to being even more of a shithead?”  
“Ooh, ouch!” Negan exclaimed with a laugh. “So-so. Not as deadly, sweet pea.”  
The two looked at each other in a weird manner, almost as if they were old friends which they both knew they certainly weren’t. They nodded at each other, almost like a moment of understanding. “I guess it’s good to see you alive,” Negan said, not changing his expression from neutral. Daryl agreed, adding an ‘unfortunately’ for good measure.  
“Well, go on then,” Daryl said. “Spill. Why such a morning?”  
“Oh shit. Hot diggity dog! Guess which little lady popped by this morning? I’ll give you one guess, make it a good one.”  
Daryl stood even more upright; eyes slightly wider in shock. “Don’t fuckin’ tell me it was her.”  
“Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner.”  
“Is she okay? Where is she?”  
“Chill out, woman! She’s fine,” Negan said, with more sincerity. “She’s very well, actually. I think she’s bored, but she looks well.”  
Daryl nodded again. “Fuck, it’s such a relief to hear she’s alive. Me and Rick were-”  
“Hold, hold, hold,” Negan said quickly. “You’re with Rick?”  
Daryl confirmed this. “We built up Alexandria again.”  
“You fuckin’ what? How is this the first time I’m hearing of this?”  
“How should I fuckin’ know?” Daryl shrugged. “We thought the two of you would end up trying to find it again. The rest of the survivors made their way back, me and Rick found each other pretty early on. We fought off those dead sons of bitches and rebuilt the place.”  
Negan rubbed a hand over his head. “Well, god-damn.”

“Oh, fuck,” Alex stopped in her tracks just outside of the new Sanctuary. “I forgot my fucking gun.”  
“Wait- you- you want to go back?” Imogen questioned, a sense of fear pinging through her voice.   
Alex nodded, looking confused at the startled girl, she didn’t understand the fear. Obviously, of Negan, but it wasn’t something Alex felt.   
“Yeah, Imogen, we need that to be safe. Think, girl.”  
The two turned on their heels and approached the gate once again, two new guards standing outside, obviously taking their turn of duties to earn ‘points’ as Negan had called them when Alex was living there. It brought back weird memories she pushed to the back of her mind.   
“And you are?” one asked Alex.  
“An old friend of Negan’s,” she replied, knowing fine well they hadn’t seen her before.   
“No entry unless we have been instructed prior by Negan about guests.”  
“And wouldn’t Negan just be seethingto know that his guards refused entry to one of his old friends? What if she were to be attacked waiting out here?”  
Alex knew this would work; people’s fear of Negan’s wrath always won over logic. They quickly changed their tune and opened the gate. Alex laughed down to the floor and then looked to Imogen, who was chuckling finally to herself.   
The pair entered, Alex speaking quietly as she still stared at Imogen. They walked slowly through the gates as they opened, before Alex looked straight ahead of her. And she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.  
As this was happening, Negan was watching. Daryl wasn’t paying attention, before a smile cracked out on Negan’s lips and he stared at the two girls returning, he wanted the pair of them to have a reunion like his and Alex’s prior.   
“Well, isn’t it just your lucky day,” Negan said under his breath.  
“It’s wha-” Daryl questioned, unable to finish as he lifted his head towards the gate where Alex had already stopped in her tracks staring at him wide-eyed and open mouthed. Her mouth breathed into an open smile, small tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. Daryl’s mouth slowly opened in shock also, blinking in disbelief.   
Negan looked at the pair back and forth, for some reason feeling a sense of pride and happiness at the scene unfolding before him.   
With the look seemingly never-ending, Alex took off in a speed walk which quickly turned into a jog towards Daryl. He dropped his crossbow and took two steps towards her before she reached him, jumping from the ground into his open arms as he swung her round in the air, picking her up in a hug.   
Alex’s feet dangled off the ground, her arms around Daryl’s neck and his around her waist and back, tightly embracing her in a meaningful hug. She breathed out into his hair, an insane flood of relief coming over her. She had found him.  
“You’re alive, kid,” Daryl breathed a sigh of relief.  
“I told you that-” Negan interrupted.  
“Shut up Negan!” the pair said simultaneously.   
He put his hands up as a joke. Alex was lowered to the ground and Daryl put his hand against her cheek. “How the fuck have you been?”  
Alex laughed. “I’m good- I’m fine, where have you been?”  
“We built Alexandria back up. I was actually searching for you.”  
“You what!?” Alex shouted in joy. “If you’re fucking with me, Daryl, I swear to god.”  
“I’m not fuckin’ with ya, kid.”   
Negan stared at the pair, almost as if he was non-existent. They paid no attention to him, just riled in each other’s company about getting their lives back on track at their old camp. His old camp, technically. Hell, Negan thought,I deserve this, she won’t even look at me after that shitshow. He knew she was mad.   
Negan felt a tinge of sadness, this should be him and Alex celebrating a reunion and getting their friendship back on track, not theirs.   
“I’ll get a truck pulled round for you,” Daryl said, excitedly. “We can get your shit and we can get back on track, okay?”  
Alex nodded with a massive grin on her face. She was getting her family back. Daryl quickly sprinted off, after having discussed he would pick her up at Negan’s new camp. She grinned at him as he sped away, dropping her shoulders in relief. Then, Alex turned back to Negan and let her smile fall as she locked eyes with him. He looked broken.  
“Alex,” he started.  
She shook her head. “Don’t.”  
Alex’s eyes fell to the ground and then to the side, before she walked away from Negan, to the other side of the gardens. Negan noticed Imogen standing awkwardly.   
“Hey, girl,” he said, beckoning her towards him. “Do me a favour?”  
Imogen paced towards him hurriedly. “Yes, sir?”  
“Firstly, don’t sir me, I’m not royalty or nothin’, got it?” he tried to say with as friendly a voice as he could muster. “Secondly, I need you to get Alex to trust me, okay?”  
Imogen nodded at the first. “I don’t know, sir- sorry, I mean- I don’t know how, she seems pretty pissed at you.”  
“Just talk her round to trusting me? Tell her I want to come with them.”


End file.
